My review of two short plays, category: tragedy!

Summer is here which means lots of free time for the kidlets! Today I had my five year old niece and my six year old daughter at my house all day. This of course, inevitably, leads to my watching at least a million different plays, shows, dances, etc. I am used to this but felt I must describe two of the plays I (was forced to) watch. They were tales of tragedy which reached a dark and disturbing level that left me shocked and also with a mental note to monitor more closely what they watch on TV. Here is a synopsis of the first play:

Young girl crying in a chair (very young, like five years old). Slightly older girl comes in and asks younger girl: "What's wrong?" Younger girl, sobbing, replies: "My boyfriend just broke up with me!" Older girl: "Why?" Younger girl: "Well, I had a cat and my boyfriend did this to it! (Stabbing motion) and now it's gone!" Me (from the audience): "Oh my gosh! Your boyfriend sounds like a mean boy!" This is followed by two glares for interrupting said play...anyways, it ended shortly after this, like right after, actually.

Next play: Older girl (like six years old) sitting in a chair, sobbing, with a blanket pulled over her. Younger girl comes in and asks older girl: "What's wrong?" Older girl: "My boyfriend just broke up with me!" Younger girl: "Well why?" Older girl: "Well, I had a baby and he took it!" Younger girl: "Where did he take it???" Older girl: " I don't know, but he took it away!!!" Me (from audience): "What is with these girls and their mean boyfriends? I mean you see how much trouble boys can be? etc etc." This interruption is again followed by two "looks that could kill" glares proceeded by an attempt to silence me by putting hands over my mouth, shees! The play also, coincidently, ended shortly after my outburst.

Yup, this is what's happening around here so far. Next play will hopefully not include the beginnings of Lifetime movie channel material!

I'm still here!

Hi everybody! I am here I have just been dealing with the tail end of the school year. This means for myself, my daughter, and my son. I am also taking an online class on "Psychopharmacology" in an attempt to get licensed. I am planning a surprise party for my dad, working a 50 year celebration carnival for my daughter's school, and even though I have been laid off, I still have to go to a bunch of meetings, how did that happen???
I am busier than I have been since Graduate school! Btw, being out of school for more than ten years, it was very difficult to put my "student" hat on again! That part of my brain has been de-activated for quite some time. It reminds me of that time last year that I attempted a cartwheel after at least 15 years since doing the last one. Oy!
Summer is coming, so I will have more time to post about my adventures, thanks for sticking around I miss my blog sisters on here but just need to get through this. Stay classy, blogosphere!

T minus 31 days to 40!

Sooooo, it has hit me like ton of bricks that I am going to turn 40 in one month! How did this happen?? This has caused a new flare up of my ongoing mid-life crisis, sigh....To put things into perspective and to hopefully help me get a grip, I have come up with a top five list for both the positive and negative aspects of turning forty from my POV. Here goes:

Things I do not like about turning 40:
1. I remember my mom being 40 and thinking she was old.
2. The "young half" of my life is behind me (sorry, but you know it's true)
3. wrinkles around my eyes that stay even when I am not smiling or squinting.
4. Men do not seem to flirt with me as much as they used to, although I am sure I am mistaken about this one....right???
5. I don't recognize the person I see in the mirror when I first wake up in the morning, I mean, who is this chick?

Things I like about turning 40:
1. I have a beautiful family, totally worth ruining my body for, btw!
2. I consider myself successful and love what I do for a living.
3. I don't care nearly as much as I used to about other people's opinions, thank God...
4. Inside, I feel like I'm 20, but then that could be because I am incredibly immature, ha!
5. I am in good shape, mostly healthy, and I try to accept all social invitations while I am still young enough to enjoy going out!

In summary, yay me!!! Oh yeah, I need ideas for how to celebrate :)

The tooth fairy has changed!

So my dear six year old daughter has been walking around with her teeth falling out as of late. Well, not literally, but she is at the age where she loses a tooth like once a month it seems. This has led to discussions about the toothfairy and how she(?) operates, what kind of loot she leaves, how does this fairy know when a tooth is under the pillow?, etc.

This, in turn has led me to have discussions with other parents and how the Tooth Fairy operates in their households. In conclusion, I guess one could say the Fairy who comes to our house is "old school", and by old school, I mean cheap, no frills kind of stuff. This is what I have learned in chatting with others:

Some of you really build up the whole thing the night before, writing tiny notes, leaving sparkly glitter around, putting the tooth in a fancy container. Some of you actually go purchase a small gift! I am so impressed (not judgemental, at all!)by all of you who go all out!

It's not that I am lame, it just never occured to me to do more than leave a dollar under the pillow, because, well, when I was a kid there was not much fanfare, just a QUARTER under my pillow. No note, no fairy dust, no fancy container, and definitely no gift of any kind! Como friegas, already! Oops. I forgot that I wasn't going to be all judgy...hee hee. I was happy with my quarter, too!

To be nice, it sounds like all of that extra stuff is fun and really, they are only kids for such a short time....yadda yadda...so might as well be creative and have a sense of frivolity, right? I guess I could learn from all the cute ideas out there! Feel free to give me any ideas that a) don't cost a lot and b) don't involve extensive planning of any kind. Thank you for your input :)

My review of New Moon, if anyone cares...

Hi everyone! So sorry I haven't been around, I hope someone is still reading out there, hello? hello?

OK, so I recently watched New Moon on DVD with some gal pals. This was my second viewing of this movie so I feel I have a solid understanding of this nonmasterpiece. First and foremost, the acting was, hmm, how should I say this? HORRIBLE! I loved all of the Twilight books and the acting did not do any of it justice.

"Bella" is a mumbler and she did not sell devastation very well. The scene, THE scene where Edward leaves her is supposed to be the worst thing ever. She basically walks around like Rainman mumbing his name a few times, trips over a log and falls on her face, and scene! Yup, that was it. Jeez, I show more emotion when I kill a spider.

"Edward" mostly stands around looking like he has a stomach ache and it looks like the director tells him before every scene: "Edward stands awkwardly in the background. Ok, let's roll!"

"Jacob"...hmmm Jacob is hot....oh wait, ok the movie....his acting actually was not bad. The funny thing about him is that he did not have a shirt on the ENTIRE movie and no one asks why? If I were in the movie I don't think I would be able to concentrate on my lines with him standing around like that, the fact that I am old enought to be his mother is irrelevant. I guess it's a good thing no one asked me to be in it.

Speaking of, I told a friend of mine that maybe I could have a part in Breaking Dawn? I could play a character that phases into a cougar and goes after the wolves....but I digress.

So, does this mean I am not going to watch Eclipse? No way! I plan to be at the theater with my popcorn and some friends and we will say we are there with our teenage daughters who ditched us.

Please forgive my lack of posting, I suck...

OK, I don't really think I suck, but anyways! I am so sorry I haven't posted lately, I have actually went to post several times but something always interrupted me. I can fill you in on some things that have been going on with me, which may or may not excuse why I haven't blogged in a while!

I recently got a "preliminary" pink slip. This means I am laid off until further notice, basically. There were 90 teachers laid off throughout my school district, this just blows my mind. Who suffer the most? The students!!

More fun news and maybe TMI...I have recently been diagnosed with high blood pressure, because you know, I am secretly an obese old man, jeez! WTH? I was so convinced there was a mistake, I have never had high blood pressure in my life! I told them that they needed to do it over because surely they did it wrong, ha! This is strange to me because I exercise, I eat right most of the time, I am not 60+ years old. Weird. I am trying alternative methods in dealing with this. I don't want to start on the daily meds thing quite yet. I don't want to have to buy one of those plastic weekly pill containers that help you remember your meds! OK, moving on...

Apparently my school has been built on an ancient indian burial ground because we have had some CRAZY stuff happen as of late. Well, more crazy than normal anyways...We had a student who has never been in any kind of trouble start a fight with another student, we were shocked! We asked her what on earth happened, she said "The devil got inside me." Hmmm. I may try that as an excuse myself in the near future.
We had some second grade students pole dancing at recess and then were flashing their "ta ta's". Yup, that's right! They were also "booty dancing" and when asked what they were doing they said they were, "Pretend strip club!" Ugh....
We had a fifth grader bring a Marijuana bud to show all his friends, he said he "found it on the sidewalk" on his way to school, mmmhmmm.
Last we had to have the police involved in a fight between a nine and seven year old, and they are brothers! Did you remember that I work at an ELEMENTARY school? I am afraid for our future after all this!

What else is happening around here? hmmm, oh yeah, for Lent I have decided to work out six days a week and to only put healthy food in my body, cut out after dinner snacks, drink more water,etc. How is this working out for me? I have been following my own rules and as a reward I have GAINED two pounds! I know! The universe is punishing me for some reason, maybe I was Hitler in a past life, or? OK, that is all for now. I will make an effort to post at least weekly, thanks for reading :)

Get Your Crab On!

My daughter's elementary school has a big crabfeed every year and it is a pretty big deal around here. Last year was the first time I had ever been to one but had to leave early so I didn't really get to see how involved these things are. This year I stayed for the whole thing and this is what I observed:

First, people are serious about their crab! People bring their own butter, candles and those little containers to melt the butter in. They bring crab nut cracker thingy's, and lemons and oranges. There is salad, bread rolls and pasta to act as "fillers" so you don't just eat crab, but the experienced people were onto that, and they flat out refused any food until the crab came out.

When the big aluminum containers of crab come out people yell, "CRAB!" when it gets near them. I guess this is in case the crab doesn't know what it is, which it doesn't, because it is cooked and not alive anymore.

The bigger your pile of crab shells are, the better! People were bragging about how big their pile was going to be and when they were done, how big their piles were. People were even taking pics of their used up crab shells, that is not gross or anything.

What are the oranges for, you ask? You bring them into the bathroom to wash your hands when you are done eating. They really help get the crab smell off. That is a good thing. What to do when you are done eating? Well, now is the part of the show where you dance!

And also, where apparently, you get stinkin' drunk. Ahhh, good times! I had not seen so many people drunk in one place since college! No one seems to be worried or ashamed by this behavior. It's like Mardi Gras, but local.

All in all, I had a great time! Now that I have some tips I will be at the next one ready with butter and bib in hand. If you have never been and you like seafood, I highly recommend it! Remember, they are always for a good cause, so you can feel good about your gluttonous, raunchy behavior!