So it all started with some on again off again pain in my hip area about four years ago, after my dear son was born. I would complain, get sent home with some Motrin, then be ok, then would aggravate the pain again, etc. Until this year after a day of hiking when it felt like my hip area seized up and I couldn't walk, like at all.
I was in the middle of getting an MRI when they pulled me out of the tube to say, "Did you know you have a fracture?" I was like, "what? who are you talking to?" I figured out it was me, but that's how surprised I was. I was then sent to the ER which I knew meant a long wait so I asked if the ER was busy (ha ha ha! I know, what a smart question!). They said I was a "trauma one" which meant I had priority over everyone except dying people...score! This means I would get in pretty quick I thought.
I get there and they put me on a gurney and put the bracelets on, including one that said, "FALL RISK". Nothing makes one feel old quite like wearing that kind of bling! so I wait, and I wait, and I wait....There is no room for me so they put me in the hallway right by the triage board, definitely NOT boring in that spot. I saw things I really could have gone my entire life without seeing. Including:
Drunk, belligerent people demanding cigarettes and drugs. I.e. "Nurse! Doctor! (raspy, crackly voice) I need a cigarette! Can someone take me out for a cigarette???" Hmm, I'm no doctor, but pretty sure that would not help your situation, regardless of what it is.
As I was laying there minding my own business I see a set of O.M.B's! Let me tell you, I really really did not need to see those. But that is what happens when some old drunk dude has his legs up with his gown on right at your eye level. Ah! I shudder every time!
A lady right behind me had an alcohol induced seizure, followed by her being so combative that she had to be restrained. Another man told me randomly that he should probably stop drinking if he doesn't want to lose his legs. I did not ask him for this info, but he freely shared as we were both laying on a gurney in the hallway. I felt like I might as well be out on the street with all that was happening! If you want to see reasons not to drink, try hanging out at the local ER.
More randomness...As I was getting some Xrays done one of the techs comes over and starts to tell me, in a very heavy (and somewhat effiminate) Vietnamese accent, the story of his hernia surgery. I will try to recall verbatim:
Him: "You know as patient, is very code in hee."
Me: "Oh, well I am not cold."
Him: "Wayo, when I had surgery for hernia, I was very code. Do you know that mostly it's da mens that get hernia?"
Me: "Yeah, I think I heard that somewhere."
Him: "It becaw when da baby is in da mom, da testico not descended yet."
Me: "I..did not know that, no."
Him: "Wayo, now you learn someting!" (this was followed by loud laughter on both our parts)
This conversation went on in further detail, complete with hand gestures to make his point very clear, but you get the drift. I realize this was incredibly politically incorrect, but felt I had to describe this conversation phonetically for the true experience to come through...moving on...
Finally I am told by a team of med students and the resident in charge (who was not unpleasant to look at, btw) that I will need surgery to fix my fractures! I was so disappointed by this news, but figured since they ALL agreed that surgery was necessary that I guessed it was, and I signed all the paperwork for early that morning.
So, more waiting and waiting and after about twenty hours without being allowed to eat or drink anything, I finally get a visit from the "Fracture Specialist." He comes in and goes, "You do not need surgery." I was sooo happy and now confused. I said, "What about what that doctor said last night?" He goes, "Pshhh, he was a resident. I am the one who decides." Oh, ok...I did like this answer better. I then proceeded to tell him my own thoughts about my x-rays and he gave the student he brought with him "that" look. You know, the look that says, "Oh look, yet another patient who thinks she can read x-rays!" Whatever! I was right after all...
Well, after all was said and done, no surgery! Now I could eat! I finally relaxed and watched a marathon of Judge Judy, Keeping up with the Kardashians, and a bunch of other mindless TV. Those last few hours almost made up for the twelve hours I spent in the hallway of the ER. They said I could take my time about calling my ride home, so I did! When else am I going to have someone wait on me while I watch TV in bed? Exactly.
