Thursday, January 28, 2010

Recurring fantasies, circa 1985-1990


So my recent addiction to the Twilight series (I know, I am a little behind the times) has transported me back to my early teenage years. I actually feel like I am fourteen or fifteen when I read them! I should have had a hint when I went to the library to try to find a copy and they sent me to the "Youth section."

I started thinking about what was going on for me at those times, where my head was at, what was important to me, etc. Then I remembered the oft repeated fantasies I had going on. Nothing dirty (that I will share) thank you very much! I had a few scenarios that I would replay in my head over and over from time to time during these impressionable years. First, let me preface by saying that all these fantasies are incredibly ego-centric, but that is what made them great! Here is a sampling:

The Hospital stay-This one involves me being in some sort of accident which almost results in my death. The guy I had a crush on would hear of my experience and come rushing to my side, telling me that when he found out what happened he realized how much we were meant to be together! This event caused him great distress and he had to get to the hospital as quickly as possible to tell me his feelings in case I didn't make it. Phew!

The Funeral-This is one I had for many years, often thought of during times I had trouble sleeping and obviously before I had kids. It could get very detailed, but most of the main points stayed consistent. The scene is my funeral, there is sad music playing, my boyfriend at the time is on suicide watch. People make these great speeches about how great I was, and EVERY guy I ever dated, liked, thought about, etc. was there, distraught beyond words....Ok, as I am reading back, this is hilarious! Aaah, youth....

The Wedding- This one is so narcissistic, that the groom in this fantasy doesn't even have a face! That is because I have had this one the longest, so it was ever changing. I am at a Cathedral somewhere, and everyone I know in the world is there. I walk down the aisle in the fanciest gown ever and people just gasp as I walk down the isle, in complete awe of how awesome I look! Again, every guy I have ever had contact with is (of course invited, and..) silently weeping at their lost opportunity, poor shleps!

So, now, I want to ask you what your (clean) adolescent fantasies were? Did you share any similar to mine? Please share, unless it is too embarrassing for you :)

Happy Friday!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Clarification: This person is NOT a freak...

She is my mom! Ok, so I have been on the fence about this post as my mom reads my blog sometimes and I would not want her to feel insulted. BUT after a few observations on this topic, I feel compelled to write about this phenomenon. I will just hope she has a sense of humor about it, like I do! I am talking about... Technology And My Mom (echoey sound effect). A confusing, frustrating, and funny combination. This has nothing to do with age, as I have noticed that since the early days of technology (tape to tape, answering machines, speed dial, etc.) there have been issues. Some classic examples:

Television: The TV in our house confuses my mom whenever she visits. Once I saw her with one of our remote controls raised high over her head and she was clicking and clicking it. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was trying to lower the volume of the TV. I said, "but why are you pointing it at the bookshelf?"

Also, anytime she has our remote in her hands she will inevitably change the output so that it ends up on some snowy channel with no volume, probably some station from like Nebraska or something. I have no idea how the TV ends up in that state, I couldn't do that if I tried!


Cell phone: My mom is under the impression that you must yell while simultaneously holding your hand in front of your mouth in order to be heard by the person on the other end. I actually have a picture illustrating this, but I won't post it, but it is funny, hee hee.


Home phone (aka "land line"): At one point I wanted to make life easier for my mom so I put all her important numbers into her phone thinking it would make things more convenient. All she has to do is push the phonebook button and then use the arrows to scroll. I have demonstrated this to her several times, but she still just hands me the phone and says, "can you call so and so for me?" After about four years of telling her all the numbers are in the the phone and you just have to blah blah blah, she will still go find her old black address book and look up numbers!

Social Media: My sis and I recently set up a Facebook page for my mom so she can stay in touch with some of our relatives. I know what you are thinking at this point, but anyways! One time she was at my house and asked if she could log in to her account from my computer. I did everything except put her password in and said, "There. Just put in your password and log in." I went back to what I was doing and after like three minutes I said, "Did you log in?" She was still typing and said she was almost done. I asked, "What are you typing?" Then I went to look and she was in the process of creating a new account!
Later, while we were on the phone, I was trying to explain how instant messaging worked and the dialogue between us was hilarious! Well, to me it was anyways..

Her: Where do I see who is messaging me?
Me: The bottom right hand corner, you should see my name...
Her: Where it says "news feed?"
Me: No, the VERY bottom of your screen, on the right... Her: I don't see any names...do I click on the yellow thing?
Me: Yellow thing?
Her: Yes, I see a yellow thing, should I click on it?
Me: I don't see a yellow thing on my screen.
Her: Oh, I clicked on it and now I am offline!
(followed by Spanish expletives)

And there you have it! I love my mom to death and hope that she manages to skip this post, ha ha! Happy Friday, and thanks for reading!










Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Why The Face????

Last week my Principal called me into his office and said, "We need to talk about your job...."
Ugh! Our district is in a serious financial crisis and as a result, there are going to be around 70 more layoffs this year. Principal also said if he were me he would start looking for another job NOW, and not wait. He said, "even if you need to break your contract..." WHOA! For those of you who work at a school, you know what this means. Sooo, let me know if you hear of any job openings for an awesome counselor! I have excellent references! OK, anyways, moving on...

So I have noticed some annoying trends in the world of Facebook that seemed to have leaked from the email world.....

One, the copy and pasted status updates...It says, "What's on your mind?" Not, "What's on your friend's mind." Not sure why people do this. I really don't need to read the same exact status update from all my friends.

Second, the implication that I do not support: breast cancer research, abandoned orphans, the amazon, the environment, finding missing children, etc. If I do not copy and paste! I really can't believe some of my own friends do this, I just shake my head.

The copy and pasted statements about what a phenomenal woman I am, ha! I would like it if it came from the heart instead of, "Fwd this to at least seven phenomenal women you know, or burn in Hell!!! " Ok, it's never anything that drastic, but you know what I mean. I guess I could just appreciate the message, right? I just have a pet peeve about these things.

It will be interesting to see what trends come about, I am waiting for the old, " FWD: FWD FWD: WARNING!!! PLEEASE READ! THIS IS SCARY!!!" heading to now makes its way onto Facebook or maybe it already has and I missed it? Anways, that's all I got for now!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Freak Magnet Friday! This one is fresh, just happened today!


I finally I have a Freak Magnet Friday story I can share with you all! Note: I have had several stories that I would like to post, but it is just too risky at this point in time. Bummer.

This is my last week off of work until Spring Break, so I have been really trying to enjoy these few remaining days. Today, as per my New Year's rez, I went for a 2.5 mile run even though it was freezing cold! Ok, I think it was 48 degrees, but that is close enough. I had dear 3 year old son with me so I of course had to bring the rickshaw, aka jogging stroller which always makes running that much more fun.

After my run we stop at the waterpark which is a neighborhood park that has a "Sprayground". This is a place that has a bunch of water squirting, dumping, splashing apparatuses for the kids to play with in the summer. My dear son asked me if he could go turn on the water for the sprayground and I told him the water doesn't come on in the Winter because it is just too darn cold. Plus, there is a sign that says the water will be turned back on in May.

Anywho...So dear son goes over and pushes the buttons that turn on the water and everything comes on, water everywhere, full force! We both just looked at the water going because neither of us thought it would actually turn on. This is when I see a maintenance guy standing by the bathrooms, staring at me. I looked at him because I thought he was going to say something about us turning on the water. But no, he just keeps staring until the moment becomes awkward, so I say: "Oh, I thought the water was shut off in the Winter."
Him: It is supposed to be off (heavy accent, it is apparent that English is not his first language).
Me: Yeah, I thought the city kept it off to conserve water, maybe we should tell someone?
Him: Yes, it is supposed to be off, I don't know why it is on.

At this point he walks over to stand next to me and watches the water spraying.

Him: (Serious tone) Do you want to take a shower? You could take a shower, you don't need soap.
Me: No....
Him: Yes, you should take a shower, go (gestures toward spraying water).
Him to my son: Hey, little Mister, do you want to take a shower? Go on, go in the water...
Then he actually tries to guide my son into the spraying water! I was like, WTF? So then I tell my son that it is time to leave the park and I go to get him into the rickshaw/jog stroller and this guy follows me! I looked at him confused. He stands right by me as I get son situated and at this point I am starting to have thoughts like, "Please don't kill me" and such. I get out of there as fast as I can and when I finally get to the main sidewalk I look back and he is standing in the same spot I left him in! Ugh, what a weirdo.

I think my mom may have jinxed me when she told me earlier that day to watch out for weird people while I was out on my run. I laughed and said I wasn't worried about that in my neighborhood, but I will keep my eye out, thanks.

Happy Friday! Thanks for reading and be glad it wasn't you!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Happy New Year! Also, please read my previous post!

I just had to throw that out there, my last post is a great true story! Ok so does anyone care about my New Year's resolutions/plans???

I have an ongoing one that involves improving on my social skills. I think it is working, as I seem to be meeting more and more people. In nutshell, all I am doing is being a little more friendly, as I have been told that I can come across as aloof. Really, I think it is just residuals from being extremely shy when I was a kid. But hey, who couldn't use more people in their life? ;)

Getting back in shape, yawn....I know, this is like a default resolution/plan, but it's there!

Move into a bigger house! We just really need one more bedroom, so wish us luck!

Continue with my liberal use of exclamation points....

More quality time with the kids. Meaning where I actually sit on the floor and play, ignoring the phone, laundry, dishes, etc.

Change my blog background for some variety.

I think this is good for now, I may tweak some here and there. Happy New Year to you all, and thank you for reading!