Showing posts with label Why me?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Why me?. Show all posts

Sunday, June 14, 2009

This cream is for wrinkles!

So I am getting ready to go out and I put my face cream on and dear five yr old daughter reaches for it. I take it from her.
Here is how the rest of that went:

Me: This cream is for grown-ups.
Her: Why is it just for grown-ups?
Me: It's to help hide wrinkles.
Her: What does a wrinkle look like?
Me: Like this, see? When I smile? You can see the wrinkles.
Her: You don't need to smile mom, I can see them even when you don't smile.

sigh......

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Ash Wednesday=the world loses it's mind!

Ok, I don't know what it is about today but it started out weird/bad and got weirder/badder, with some other stuff in between...

I will walk you through my day with a narrative to give you the picture:

First some background. I hate Wednesdays, they are my most chaotic, busiest days starting with the alarm clock going off in the morning. I have to get myself ready for work, daughter ready for school, and son to my sister's house. So, walk with me will ya? Here is how my day went:

I get the kids off OK but then realize I left my just prepared coffee at home, rats! I try to move on. I get off the exit for my school and I see a guy standing on the side of the street trying to get the attention of the cars going by. He has three balloons and a box. As I get closer he starts saluting me military style! Weird. I asked a teacher I work with if he saw this strange man on his way in as well. He said: "No but today is Ash Wednesday, maybe he is giving up his sanity for lent?"

I get to the school and see that there are absolutely no parking spaces available. I then see that some rude person has taken up TWO spots in the front row with their blue mini-van. This enrages me, as it is a pet peeve of mine anyways! I stomp into the office and loudly state: "There is a blue mini-van taking up TWO spaces in the parking lot and the parking lot is full!" One of our secretaries says: "Did you say a blue mini-van?" (smirking)

Me: Yeah, why?

Her: "That is Mr. S's mini-van!"
And by "Mr.S" I mean our Principal of the school! Such nerve!

I try to get some work done when I get the call from said Principal, "Got a minute?" Oh no, this is NEVER good. So I have to interview a student who is claiming to have been sexually assaulted by another student, this is elementary school, people!
I then go to La Bou for lunch, where who do I see walking down the street? Why, it's dear Red Hat lady! This lady looks about 70 years old and she wears a fancy red hat that ties under her chin, walks with arrogance, as if to state, "It is I, Red Hat Lady." Oh, and she completes the ensemble with flannel jammies. I see her walking down the street every once in a while, so her sighting today was not surprising.
So I get to La Bou and I get in line behind these two women that came in ahead of me. One of them turns to me and says, "Are you in line?" (Uh, duh...) I say yes. She tells me to go ahead. So I do but her friend goes, "Oh." and stepped out of the way as if I cut in front of her! I am now socially confused about what just happened. I mean they were standing there talking to each other. I guess when her friend said go ahead, that did not imply her as well. Jeez!

So I get back to school and I get trapped in the pick-up line because some ding dong has parked their car in the lane which leaves me stuck because now a car is behind me as well. I am livid once again! I go up to the the driver, who is napping, btw, and I say,"Excuse me, you need to move, you are blocking me!" He snorts, but moves, what a guy! I guess I shouldn't interrupt his noon naps.
The day just continues like that, one bizarre thing after another. I did have something happen that was cool. I have a student who I always pick up right after first recess on Wednesdays. She is in first grade, and she is a bigger girl with big, dark eyes. She is always breaking or spilling things in my office, but she loves her sessions! This happens every, single time. Starts like this, she sees me when they are lining up after the bell.

Her: (loud gasp) "Are you taking me??"
Me: "Yes, M., I am taking you."
Her: (Jumping up and down) "Oh yay! oh yay! oh yay!"
Then she body slams me with a hug. Every, single time.

If only every one was so happy to see me!

On a random side note. I was waiting at a traffic light when I looked at a "One Way" arrow sign that had *FUBAR* spray painted on it. I was like, really? Do people still say/write that? Nothing new since the '80's?

Happy Ash Wednesday!