Thursday, April 9, 2009

Freak Magnet Friday! Renaissance love...

Ok, so I am kinda freaking out about the statement I made about having endless stories about the freaks that I have encountered in my life. I guess I haven't lived long enough to have that kind of supply! Maybe I should tone it down to, "Big Weirdo Wednesday!" Or something. But I did remember a family I worked with when I was at Jerry H. Springer Elementary School.
It was the first day of school and this little couple, both being around 5'2" dropped into my office. She was tiny and had long blond hair and glasses. Her husband, was a bit rotund for his height and had long blond hair in a pony tail and a full beard.
For apparently no reason, they felt they had to come in and tell me their history of how they met, and on the first day of school, no less. So the wife tells me that she met her husband at a Renaissance Faire and he was dressed in the full regalia, tights, funky shoes, etc. He really went all out and she says to me, "He looked really hot, I mean who wouldn't be turned on by that, right?"
(Right....) She goes on to say how they eventually got married and their son is now at our school. By the way, her husband talked over her the WHOLE time she was telling me all of this, very annoying. But anyways... Their son, they tell me, is very precocious (aren't they all? sigh...) and that as a result he often has behavior problems. Whoa, didn't see that coming! Anyways, they bring said son in to meet me. He is too cute, a little tow head, with a freakin' full on Mullet! I was like, dear God, why would they do that to him? This is a rough school, why invite trouble? Different strokes, I guess.
So after a few weeks I notice that this couple would come in every week and just plop down on my couch and start shooting the breeze, like I was their personal therapist! They never had any complaints, just chit chat. So I had to cut them off.
The husband then started invading his son's teacher's personal space. Example: We are eating lunch in the staff room and he walks in, doesn't say excuse me or anything, looks at the teacher, who is trying to eat and says, "I need to talk to you about N's homework!" She was a new teacher and she was aghast. I however, had seen where this was going. So I cut him off and say, "Excuse me, but this is Miss E's lunch time, you will have to find a different time to talk to her." Mr. Renaissance Man then says to me, "I will not be talked to in that manner! I am going to talk to the Principal about how I have been treated!" Maybe I should have spoken his language? Like, "Dear sir! Pleasest do seeist that thyne teacher is trying to commence the eating of her feast, now beat it!" Or something along those lines.
That is basically all I have about this funky family. I wonder if they still frequent the Renaissance Fairs? Happy Friday! Thanks for reading!

10 comments:

forever folding laundry said...

I don't think those types EVER stop going to the Renaissance Fairs!

(Poor mullet kid. He doesn't stand a chance!)

Anonymous said...

this man had an ego trip going on, why would he think his problem was more important than eating lunch? Poor teacher, it probably did ruin her lunch!

sAm said...

Y'know...I'm sorry you have to be a magnet freak. But I gotta be honest - you make me laugh every Friday morning!! I can just picture the way in which he bespoke himself.
(More honesty...sometimes I speak the same way around people that...um...won't "get" it - just for funsies. And my son plays along.)

Kristina P. said...

It's so unfortunate I can't blog about all the freaks I have met in my current job. Damn HIPAA!!!

peewee said...

Jerry H springer elementary!! HAHAH

I've never been to a renaissance fair. How did they even start? Now an 80's fair?? THAT I would be ALL over.

Mainly a midwife said...

Oh man...there are some strange birds out there.

Tulip Row said...

Oh Lord!!!!!!!!! I am so scared to reenter the workforce, or shall I say the weirdoforce!

This IS The Fun Part! said...

At the auto repair shop where I used to work there were several customers who were Renaissance Fair participants. Yep, they are ALL like that. Brainy (at least THEY think so), speak very distinctly, and seem just more than a little off-center.

It might be fun to go watch for a while, but I'd want maybe 20 or 30 of my normal friends with me!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Lets do a joint post about all the geniuses we've met (per their parents) in our careers! Do you think there is a long enough blog for that?!!
I love parents, especially odd ones!

seriously? said...

For Gods sake...I am sure they just left your school and came to mine. FANTASTIC!!! If I had a dime for everyone that thought I treated them badly...I would be rich as well as a dime for every time I was verbally abused and called a B*#@H.