Thursday, August 20, 2009

Freak Magnet Friday!

This story takes place around 1995, I was in my last semester of college and I needed a job. I saw an ad for an "Office Assistant" that paid pretty well, it was in my neighborhood, and it was part-time, perfect! I called and had a phone interview with a man who owned his own business that he ran from home and just needed help getting organized. I talked to him for a while and he said although I sounded like an "intelligent young lady" he wanted someone with more office experience. After we hung up, I said to my boyfriend (now hubs) "Watch, he will call me back and offer me the job." Sure enough, the next day the job was mine.

So I start working for him and he was right, his office was a mess! Boxes of invoices were everywhere, bills, bank statements, etc. I am eager to help him clean this all up.
After a few weeks, I realize why he was so unorganized. I would get to his house and all he would do is talk! He would talk about everything! His health, his family, wondered why he was still single, etc. I would get bored and say something like, "Which box should we get started with?" Or something along those lines. He would just wave them off like he had better things to do.
So I soon realized that he was paying me to be there to listen to him talk! He would talk for the entire four hours I was there! Well, this is a freak magnet story, so here is where it takes a turn..

One day I was there and in the middle of my trying to do some work he says, "Hey, it's lunch time, I have food I will just make us something." I thought this was nice so I said OK. He takes off to his kitchen and I hear him whipping up all kinds of stuff, chopping food, singing to himself.
I wondered what the hell was taking him so long to pull out the bread and lunch meat?
He comes into the office and says, "It is really nice outside, lets eat out on the patio."
I go out to the patio and he has it set up like a romantic restaurant! There is flowers on a vase, he pours me a glass of wine, and he serves up a very fancy delicious meal, I must say. So we are sitting there eating lunch, but I feel like I'm on a date with this older dude. It was so weird. He acted like he did this everyday or something!
As time went on I noticed that he started asking me a lot more personal questions, and was always complimenting me, etc. I saw where this was going! He then asks me to meet him at a restaurant downtown. I thought, "Am I getting paid for this?" I wasn't sure why we had to meet there. I sit down and he is acting very nervous. My freak vibes are in full force. Ugh...I saw what was coming. Here is a part of the extremely awkward and uncomfortable dialogue that followed:

Him: Well, you know I wanted to talk to you about something.
Me: Yeah?
Him: Do you know what it is?
Me: Uh, no...
Him: It has come to my attention that I have become rather fond of your company.
Me: (Why is there no hole opening up for me to fall into???)
Him: Do you know where I am going with this?
Me: Yeah... (help, wish cell phones were around more at this time!)
Him: Well I am offering you a relationship with me, I think we would make a great couple.
Me: (Never feeling more uncomfortable IN MY LIFE) Well, I have a boyfriend, sooo....

I wanted to add, You are twenty years older than me, you have told me so much about yourself that there is no way I would ever get involved with all those issues, you are shorter than I am (not that there is anything wrong with that...), you have this quirk of running your hand through your hair and then smelling your fingers, ewww. Anyways, needless to say we never spoke again.

Follow up: I found out recently that he did find someone to marry and have children with. His family is well known in the community, they carry some weight, but I really can't say more! Oh well, thanks for reading! Happy Friday!

9 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Wow! Awkward!

sAm said...

Running his fingers through his hair and then smelling them?? Ewww...

Anonymous said...

ugh! I can picture him and he sounds like a nasty old man trying to take advantage of college girls!

peewee said...

wait, so you quit?? got fired?? just never showed up again??

Mainly a midwife said...

Yea! Freak Magnet Friday is back!!
Ew..he sounds awful AND awkward. Glad to hear he found someone to "offer" himself up to.. and as they say..there is someone out there for everyone.

Debbie said...

That is so freaky! The finger smelling this is grossing me out.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Wow. That is completely awkward. I love it though! You have the best freaks up your alley!

seriously? said...

You life is full of awkward moments...I am overcome with laughter when I think about this actually happening to you and the look on your face...PRICELESS!!

Unknown said...

Yvonne, this is HILARIOUS!!! Love it.