Freak Magnet Friday! Yet another weirdo I dated!

This story takes place in early 1990. I was still reeling from the "first love" break-up and was just trying to get through school and life. I was nineteen, close to twenty years old. Remember, this was "peak freak" time for me!
So I am hanging out with some friends when one of our friends brings over a guy he met while working in Utah for the summer. This guy had black hair and eyes the color of Windex! He was super cute in my opinion and said he came out to California to get a "fresh start" (Later I realized that fresh start=running from the Law). He was really charming and was a "life of the party" type of person. So, we start dating! It seemed normal enough at first. But then strange things started to happen. For one, he kept having to move out of wherever he was staying for various reasons. He never lasted for more than a couple of weeks at any place. Hmmm...then people we were hanging out with all seemed to have things stolen. All kinds of things, too. It seemed weird that all my friends were getting things stolen all the time.
More stuff...then he loses the job he got for reasons unknown to me. He gets desperate, but says he can't go back to Utah because it is just too conservative for him. He came from a Mormon family (remember the guy who stole drugs from those kids? If not read back through my Freak Magnet stories!) and said his parents wanted him more involved than he wanted to be. That was his reason. In a matter of three weeks he gains about fifty pounds, which was weird, since he was broke all the time. So now this guy is not looking as good as he used to both physically and as a person in general. I start to try to distance myself. Sound familiar?
He then gets beaten up by one of his roommates at his latest place of residence and says he has to move again! I just couldn't believe his "bad luck." So naive! A lot more drama happens and I see a pattern of him pissing people off and it never seemed to be his fault, again, hmmmm...
The last straw was when he begged to borrow my car to go to the bay area to visit his aunt to get money from her. I was hesitant, but thought, if he gets money, then he can get on his feet (I know! I am so dumb sometimes!). So he borrows my car and is gone for over TEN HOURS!
This was before cell phones so I was really mad and also freaking out. He finally calls me from a pay phone and gives me the stupidest, most unbelievable story about why he was gone so long! I mean it was so unreal and made-up that I told myself, "That's it! We're done!"
Divine intervention happens and he says he is going back to Utah! Woo hoo! I don't even need to give him a reason not to see him anymore! BUT he needs a ride to someone's house and then he will be gone. Well, at this point I am all about getting him the Hell out of town as quickly as possible! I told him I would give him a ride and then I helped him pack EXACTLY the way Elaine did on that one Seinfeld episode where she was trying to get rid of that guy and didn't want him to miss his flight! It was hilarious!
So he was gone, and I never heard from him again. I am pretty sure he is serving time for something somewhere, maybe he reads blogs while he is in there...
Happy Friday! Thanks for reading!

I wanna get off the ride!

Phew! Does everyone else feel they are overscheduled and overbooked with things? I feel like our weekends are packed to the maximum and when Monday rolls around I think, now I can relax!
And by relax I mean:
Get up, get ready for work, get the kids ready for school/babysitter, drop everyone off, get to work, be productive, go pick up the kids, get home, do homework, make dinner, referee fights, play games, take baths, get stuff ready for the next day, etc.
Of course this did not even include making doctor/dentist/Optometrist appointments, run errands, house work, and a kazillion other things I probably forgot!
I just feel like we are on this fast moving roller coaster and sometimes I wanna yell, "Stop! I want to get off now!" My kids are not even old enough to be in organized sports where I hear this takes up A LOT of time. So this lead me to think of my own childhood. My parents had three of us and I know we did things, but was it like this??? I don't remember having so many things to do, but I'm sure my mom would disagree! Anyways, I just needed to vent for a minute, thanks for hearing me out!

Freak Magnet Friday! Vegas, baby...I star this time

This is a story that is brief, but I think I am the freak in this instance! For I cannot explain my behavior except to say that I was the one who acted strangely.

It was 1994, I was twenty-four and my boyfriend (now hubs) and I went to Las Vegas for the first time in our lives. If you have never been there it is quite a sight to behold! It's like Disneyland for gamblers. There are flashing blinking lights of all colors, everywhere! I spent the first half hour I think just staring at it all, taking it all in.

At some point we decide to go to one of THE major casinos there, Caesar's Palace! (echo announcer voice) This place is just over the top with the whole gold chariot statues, columns, etc.
So we go in and we decide to play a few slot machines. It was relatively dead in there since it was early in the afternoon, so we just wandered around leisurely. Eventually we get separated, but not a big deal since there aren't many people in there. I start gambling at one of the slot machines when I hear a voice. It sounded EXACTLY like Barry White, and it said:

"Are you enjoying yourself this afternoon?"
This is when the weird trance I fell into started! I looked up slowly and see this tall, dark, muscular man, dressed like a Roman soldier from the old Empire days looking at me! He is at least 6' 5" and he is all decked out and shiny, and I hear myself say:

"Yes, I am." In a hushed tone.

He then says to me (Gosh it was sooo romance novelly!):

"Would you be interested in signing up for our Caesar's Palace Game Tracking Card?"
Me: "Uh huh..."

Him: "Follow me to the Customer Service Counter."

Me: "Uh huh..."

And I followed this Roman Soldier, I guess to the counter, but honestly I don't remember! I was so hypnotized by him in all his splendor, and that voice! I would have followed him out the door and down the street! Who knows??? It was so strange, and it ended as soon as I didn't see him anymore, but that was just freakness on my part! Never knew what came over me either, maybe Great Caesar's ghost?
Happy Friday! Thanks for reading!

The one zen-like time of the day in my life

Every night I promise to lay in bed with Dear 5 yr old Daughter, and Dear 3 yr old son until they fall asleep. So each night after some arguing and tussling, there is a little discussion of the days events, followed by silence, then some fidgeting, and then stillness...both sleeping!

Then I have this enormous feeling of peace that comes over me. Both kids slowly and steadily breathing. Their little bodies snuggled against me, one on each side. I feel harmonious, like all is right in the world...

Shhhh...please don't ruin it by asking what the mornings are like!

The $28.00 Slice Of Watermelon & More...

So I am back from Disneyland and I have compiled a list of things that I like and things that I don't, about the Magic Kingdom:

Things that I like:

It's fun!

Everyone is friendly.

The rides are great.

The food is not bad.

There is no riff raff.

The kids are entertained the whole time.

The parade is neat.

The firework show is awesome!

Great family bonding time.

Perfect weather.

Fast Pass, Switch Pass, and a stroller, all necessities!

Things that I don't like:

A bottle of water is three dollars.

We ate at a breakfast buffet where certain Characters harassed us the whole time we were trying to eat.

We paid TWENTY EIGHT DOLLARS for dear son to eat a slice of watermelon at said buffet. Yes! They charged us that much for a two year old to eat breakfast and that is all he ate! To even things out a little, I put a banana in our bag for later, that'll show 'em!

I waited in line an hour and a half so that dear daughter could talk to Belle from Beauty and the Beast for one minute.

Even though we had a stroller, dear son insisted on being held the entire day on our last day there. Our backs will never be the same!

Does a kids size small T-shirt made in Malaysia really need to cost $24.00?

Our $300 a night room had no free continental breakfast, no entertainment for the kids, except an arcade, and housekeeping only changed the sheets and left the rest of the room a mess. Is this too much to ask for a little extra's thrown in at this price?

The seven and a half hour drive sitting between two bored kids at the seventh hour with a surround sound noise level that had me uttering the mantra, "Serenity now! Serenity now!"

So there you have it, our trip in a nutshell! It's good to be back.

I'm going to Disneyland!

Hi everyone!
I am leaving for Disneyland right after the Easter festivities. I will be out of town for four days so I will be on blog hiatus for a short time. I am hoping to have a something interesting to post about when I get back if I am not prescribed Xanax for my post traumatic stress of being in The Happiest Place on Earth! Wish me luck!
Happy Easter!

Freak Magnet Friday! Renaissance love...

Ok, so I am kinda freaking out about the statement I made about having endless stories about the freaks that I have encountered in my life. I guess I haven't lived long enough to have that kind of supply! Maybe I should tone it down to, "Big Weirdo Wednesday!" Or something. But I did remember a family I worked with when I was at Jerry H. Springer Elementary School.
It was the first day of school and this little couple, both being around 5'2" dropped into my office. She was tiny and had long blond hair and glasses. Her husband, was a bit rotund for his height and had long blond hair in a pony tail and a full beard.
For apparently no reason, they felt they had to come in and tell me their history of how they met, and on the first day of school, no less. So the wife tells me that she met her husband at a Renaissance Faire and he was dressed in the full regalia, tights, funky shoes, etc. He really went all out and she says to me, "He looked really hot, I mean who wouldn't be turned on by that, right?"
(Right....) She goes on to say how they eventually got married and their son is now at our school. By the way, her husband talked over her the WHOLE time she was telling me all of this, very annoying. But anyways... Their son, they tell me, is very precocious (aren't they all? sigh...) and that as a result he often has behavior problems. Whoa, didn't see that coming! Anyways, they bring said son in to meet me. He is too cute, a little tow head, with a freakin' full on Mullet! I was like, dear God, why would they do that to him? This is a rough school, why invite trouble? Different strokes, I guess.
So after a few weeks I notice that this couple would come in every week and just plop down on my couch and start shooting the breeze, like I was their personal therapist! They never had any complaints, just chit chat. So I had to cut them off.
The husband then started invading his son's teacher's personal space. Example: We are eating lunch in the staff room and he walks in, doesn't say excuse me or anything, looks at the teacher, who is trying to eat and says, "I need to talk to you about N's homework!" She was a new teacher and she was aghast. I however, had seen where this was going. So I cut him off and say, "Excuse me, but this is Miss E's lunch time, you will have to find a different time to talk to her." Mr. Renaissance Man then says to me, "I will not be talked to in that manner! I am going to talk to the Principal about how I have been treated!" Maybe I should have spoken his language? Like, "Dear sir! Pleasest do seeist that thyne teacher is trying to commence the eating of her feast, now beat it!" Or something along those lines.
That is basically all I have about this funky family. I wonder if they still frequent the Renaissance Fairs? Happy Friday! Thanks for reading!

Excuses, excuses...

Ok, so we are now on Spring break at my school, but before I left we were talking about all the crazy excuses we have for students being absent or late to school. I went through some of the late slips and here is what I found:

The slip has printed on it: Reason late:

"We were partying this morning." (Nice!)

"Stuck in traffic." (yeah, you live around the corner!)

"Forgot there was school today." (That's just dumb)

"Alarm didn't go off."

"She was blessed with her monthly visitor." (We are a staff of 90% women, could you imagine?)

"My cell phone died." (and?)

"His dad doesn't know what time school starts." (Father Of The Year!)

"Thought it was minimum day." ( ok...)

"Just late." ( oh, elusive!)

"She didn't go to bed until 2 am." (WHY??)

It goes on and on! To my teacher readers, I know you feel me on this! What kind of message do these excuses send? These students will hopefully have jobs some day, and these just won't fly with most bosses, last I checked. I fear for the next generation, Ok, I know people say that for every generation but still.

Freak Magnet Friday! My BF's BFF's weird GF

Today's story is about a girl! Or should I say a woman (chick?) anywhooo...a long time ago my boyfriend's best friend was going out with this freaky chick, I will call her "FC" from now on. When I first met her she seemed normal enough. She was very pretty and had an exotic type of look going on. As we were all spending time together going out, staying in, I started to notice things.

The first thing that made me go, "Hmm" was when BF's BFF brought her to our apartment for a quick visit. I had just bought a magazine that I wanted to read and it was on our coffee table. They stay for a short while and then shortly after I can't find my magazine anywhere! Keep in mind that it is only myself and BF who live in this apartment and we kept the place pretty clean. It didn't even occur to me that it could have been taken. I really thought I was going crazy because it seemed to have disappeared!

More time goes by and they come over again, this time the big hair clip that I had sitting on the bathroom counter mysteriously vanishes! This was strange because it was the ONLY thing on the counter, so it's pretty obvious that either she (or her BF, unlikely) took it. Now the question was, WHY? Why would someone steal a used hair clip that probably cost like a dollar!

This last incident pretty much confirmed that FC was indeed, a klepto. We went to the river to hang out, go jet skiing with some friends. She and I are just waiting on the beach, sitting in the sun when she spot a huge pair of men's flip flops nearby in the sand. She walks over to them, shouts, "Score!" and shoves them in her bag! I was like, "eewww! Why would you want some guys sweaty used flips?" Sick...but then I thought, if she'll steal those, she'd steal anything!

More freakiness...
She then tells me in passing that she used to live in L.A. and was a Madame for a brothel and she had "hundreds" of girls working for her and that she had famous clientele, etc. She said she stopped doing it because all the money she had coming in was making her nervous. Did I mention that she was unemployed and living with her parents? Yeah...

More time goes on and we end up working out at the same gym. Not really a big deal until one day I went to sit in the sauna after working out and she happens to be in there. Still didn't think it was a big deal. A few days later she told me she was "bummed" because apparently she had checked out my, err, breast size whilst in the sauna and was very disappointed in the fact that they were smaller than she had originally thought. WTH???? I was speechless, and almost apologetic? WEIRD.

I'm still laughing about that as I write! Too bizarre! Anyways, I think the last straw for all of us was when I had my family over for a BBQ. It was small, no big deal, a Sunday afternoon. My BF's BFF brings her by and she starts drinking like prohibition is coming back...really on a mission! Well she gets drunk and my family is all sitting on our sectional couches. FC (Freaky Chick, remember?) starts rolling around on the ground with our very large dog, wrestling, laughing, but it was a little over the top....making EVERYONE uncomfortable!

That is basically where this ends, thank God!!!! No idea what happened to her...oh yeah! One more tidbit...One time we all sat to play Pictionary and we had to stop, because she either couldn't read the clues or didn't understand what they meant. But yet, she managed a brothel...right.

Happy Friday! Thanks for reading!