Not a freak story! Or is it? Life with my son

Last night we had "Open House" at my school, and since dear hubs works nights I brought both kids with me. Dear five year old daughter is fine out in public. Dear three year old son? Different story.
In the few minutes that we were all in the multi-purpose room listening to the Principal talk my son loudly told me that he wants to go back to my office. He asked SEVERAL times to make sure I heard his demands. Then he grabbed the whistle that was around my neck attached to my name badge and put it in his mouth. I told him, "DON'T blow that." He breathed really slowly in and out of the whistle and when I took it out of his mouth he YELLED, "I want the whistle! I won't blow it!" So, to keep him quiet I give it to him and tell him not to blow in it. His response? To BLOW the whistle. So, now everyone looks at us, because a loud whistle just erupted from us. I am livid and embarrassed, so I take him to my office for a time-out. He crosses his arms in front of himself and says, "You're mean, mommy!" Sigh....there's more, but you get the picture!

This is a little person who:

Removed several screws from different areas of the house (toys, outlets, etc) and brought them to me.
Swallowed a penny last week.
Poured the sugar all over the counter and then "swept" it all around with his hand.
Peed in a "Water Blaster" tube and then "launched" said urine.
Pulled every, single diaper wipe out of a new box.
Sprayed the kitchen counter, stove, microwave and dishwasher with the sink sprayer nozzle.
Stepped on, and got stung by two bees, two days in a row.
Spent five nights in the PICU for respiratory distress.
Had three black eyes before he could even walk.
When he's angry, He MUST hit something, or someone and growls, "Really, really, really bad you!!!!"
Hits his sister just to make her mad enough to attack him, over and over.

Life with my little man! His saving grace is that he is just nuts about me and hugs me and tells me he loves me so much...makes me forget all this other stuff until the next incident!
Is this what it's like with boys? Or is it just mine?

Field Trip!

Our 5th graders went on a field trip to the "Exploratorium" about three hours away. When they were done visiting the museum they all loaded up with their little groups and then their chaperones drove them back to the hotel. Well they got into a "Home Alone" situation and left one of the students in the parking lot! He wandered back to the museum where the security guards helped him out. All ended well, but I would hate to be the chaperone who was in charge of that kid!

Freak Magnet Friday! With great power, comes great responsibilty.

So, I have started to notice a few things about myself lately. One, is that my subtle psychic abilities seem to be returning after a six year hiatus. This affinity tends to run on my mom's side of the family. Just ask Trueloveisamama and Wenbren! Coincidently, so has my freak magnetism. So much so, that I have three separate incidents that have transpired over the last few weeks! The bad news? I cannot share these stories at this time, as they are just too risky to blog about at this point. Don't stop reading! Don't boo me!
I have been trying to figure out what is going on with me. It is kind of neat in a way, and confusing. I came up with this: My youngest child has just turned three, technically not a baby anymore, hence not quite as needy. I think this has freed up some of my mental energy and I kind of feel like the baby fog is lifting sooo...maybe that's it? Not sure. But I promise to share a story when I think it's safe enough to post!
On a separate note, today I was making the rounds in the upper grade classrooms when I walked by a 5th grade class that had erupted in laughter. I poked my head in and saw that a student had fallen over in his chair. I asked the teacher what happened. He said the student next to him passed gas so loudly that the other student got "blown out of his chair." The teacher and I just looked at each other and shook our heads. "The children are out future", isn't that great?
Happy Friday! Thanks for reading!

Blame the parents!

Ok, so I have posted some comments that the students make around my school, but after today's events I have to post some things the parents have said, and all I can say is that I fear for our future! Not really, but kind of, anyways!

Today we had a student who has not turned in any homework, she is in first grade. All the kids in her class who turned in their homework could then color as a reward. When said student was told she could not color until she did her work, she had a major meltdown and then ran out of her class. Her mom's reaction? It wasn't fair that her daughter couldn't color when the rest of the class could! She could not see our rationale. Ugh!

Another first grade student stole a dollar from a classmate. He was sent to the office for a referral. This boy's mom said we were picking on him, threw a dollar at our secretary and said she was taking him out of school...to spite us I guess? Sigh...

We had a couple of students get into a fight. The one who started it got suspended and sent home. The one who fought back got an in-school suspension. The parent of the fight starter was adamant about about finding out how we disciplined the other student and wanted to make sure we did not just suspend her son. How about just focusing on your own child?

This is the last one because I am getting annoyed just remembering this stuff!
We have a student who is seven years old, the poor thing does not recognize any letters, or numbers, colors or basically anything else. Retaining her was brought up so that she could catch up with another year in second grade, which is still way beyond the level she is at now. The parents reaction? We are racist! Oh dear...

So when we get blamed as a school for "failing" to help a student, nobody seems to point the finger at the ones who influence the child the most! Oh wait, I have to mention this last one!

A parent called and asked us to please stop sending ANY thing home in her son's backpack, as it is just too much for her to keep up with it all! I am totally serious! This is also a student whose dad comes to pick him up smelling like Marijuana more times than not. Yeah. This is what we are up against in my neck of the woods!

Freak Magnet Friday! I thought he was gay? Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Back in about 1995 I was finishing up all the classes for my minor in college, which was Social Work, go figure..but anyways, I had about four classes in a row back to back and so there was a small co-hort of us that spent all this time together, three times a week.

Eventually I met a guy named "Edgar" who was about one of three guys in the Social Work department. He was about my height, close to my weight, and very effeminate, in my opinion. We always sat by each other and we would gossip like teenage girls in high school, it was fun! We even wrote notes during class, we really brought out each other's mature side! I had so much fun with Edgar because I was convinced he was gay and so this was a very freeing experience to hang out with a man in this way. I felt like he was my first gay friend and I pictured us hanging out at clubs, gossiping about the other people at the clubs, and all that fun stuff you do with your gay guy friends.
I never came out and asked Edgar if he was gay because, one, it wasn't my place, and two, once when we were walking from one of our classes to the next a bee came flying around us and this is EXACTLY how he reacted:

Edgar: "Oh my God! A bee! (Flailing around, waving the bee away in a frenzy, swatting at the air) Oh my God, go away bee! Go away!"

Yeah, you be the judge on that one.

So one day we are walking from class to class and we're just chatting, when out of the blue he says to me, "Um, this is so hard for me to say, but I don't think I can be friends with you anymore."

Me: "What? Why, what happened?"

Edgar: "Well when you talk to me about you and your boyfriend I can't take it! I want to just beat him up and take you away with me so that I can have you all to myself! I picture all these instances where I save you from some dangerous situation and you are so happy that you just fall in love with me...so you see why it's too painful for me to talk to you anymore?"
Me: (crickets chirping, mouth agape) Hmm, thought he was gay?

Later, after some weeks go by and he has been ignoring me, I figure he would be over whatever that was and be willing to hang out with me again. He tells me, "No, I just can't. It's too painful." Man, really convinced he was gay.

Whatever! He called me about a year later, asked me if I still had a boyfriend, I said yes. He then tells me, "Well it was nice knowing you, I thought it wouldn't bother me to hear this, but is still does." Dude! Are you sure your not gay? Remember the bee incident?

Ok, so now it is years later, and I would bet that he either got out of denial and admitted he was gay, or is married to a woman who is very masculine! Not that there's anything wrong with that! Happy Friday! Thanks for reading!

Happy mother's Day to all you Mama's out there!

I just wanted to first, apologize for not posting a Freak Magnet Friday post, I went blank but I have one ready for next Friday!
Next, I just wanted to show appreciation for all moms out there who do the best that they can do everyday for their kids. I think most of us have parenting moments that we are not proud of, and we often feel guilt about it, or think we are not good moms. I wanted to just point out that the world out there has unfairness, weirdness, hostility, and dishonestly. These are issues that every human being will be exposed to at some point in their lives, unfortunately.
My point? That when we show our kids that we are not perfect, that sometimes we react in a way we feel bad about, or we handle a situation poorly, etc. we are actually teaching our kids how to deal with imperfection in others. I think that is a great gift!
So the next time you, Ok I, lose it over something the kids did, I will take comfort in knowing that I am teaching them how to deal with tough world out there! Gosh, I feel better already!
Happy Mother's Day to all my mom readers and my mom-to-be readers! The hardest, yet most rewarding job in the universe!

More stuff heard on campus

Ok, so this is the time of year that gets real stressful at a school. Testing is almost over, tensions have spilled over, and some people are just sick of things. I thought this would be a good time to post some quotes heard around school lately. Here goes:

"I got into a fight with her because she said my mom looks like an 'Oompa Loompa'".
(No offense, but she kinda does!)

"I got in trouble because I said, 'Bagina'. I know what a 'Bagina' is but my dad told me to stop saying that."
(No kidding? Can't imagine why hearing you say that makes him uncomfortable.)

"I'm having a good day, Mrs. S!" Teacher: "No, he's not!"
(sigh...)

"Get off the floor, get up, and get back to class!"
(Can you imagine your boss saying something like this to you? It would be hilarious, and you would probably get fired shortly afterwards)

"People are just too crazy about me and it bugs me because it just causes me a lot of problems."
(Heavy is the head...)

"Well, Suzy told me that she is my friend, but she would not be my friend if I am friends with Sally, but Sally said we could only be friends if I was friends with her and Sara, but not Suzy...",
(Etc, etc. Some things never change, remember 4th grade? Ah, yes, I remember it well...)

"I got a citation for no reason!"
(I love to then say, "So it says on your citation, 'reason': "None!" I didn't know that box was on there!)

"It's Billy's fault I got in trouble!"
(Blaming others, a classic and wildly popular form of not taking personal responsibility for ones actions, can last WELL into adulthood)

"Everyone else was talking, but I am the only one who got in trouble!
(everybody: "IT'S NOT FAIR!")

Yup, life at an elementary school, folks!

Sick of the sickness!

So we are again at the time of year where my kids seem to be chronically ill with something or the other. My 3yo son is battling yet another cold on the tail end of dealing with a cold that left him with some sort of rash. My daughter finally got over her cold but still has a lingering cough just like me!
I have gone in late or called in sick to work so many times since April that I can't believe they haven't fired me, yet. I am wondering when this will end? Or at least, slow down? It seems to happen every year around this time.
I grew up out in the country before antibacterial and before any swine flu scares. I don't remember being sick this much. I mean, I had a father who smoked all the time, indoors!
I can only hope this is building immune systems in this house. Is any one else feeling like this, or dealing with this? I am starting to wonder what I am doing wrong/ I wash their hands all the time and the kids get enough sleep, eat right, etc.
Just feeling kind of exhausted...maybe because last night I only slept four hours because dear son had a croup attack at 11:30pm that didn't subside until 1:40a? I can't wait for health to reappear around here! Anyways, this is what has been happening around here. Oh yeah, we got a new dog! He is a calm, yellow Lab around one year old. His name is Bodie, but we call him Bo, for short. So far, so good! I gotta go, I hear someone coughing!