Freak Magnet Friday! 2/20/09

Today's story is just a random list of interactions I have had with my fellow human beings, all leading up to the reason I no longer make eye contact with strangers!

I saw a homeless guy right outside of a Mexican deli that I used to frequent. The food there was cheap so I thought I would be a good samaritan and buy him a burrito. As I handed it to him, he doesn't say the usual: "God bless you, thank you." He grabs my hand, looks me in the eye and says: "I want to kill myself!" Oh no.... He then goes on to tell me that his best friend stole his sleeping bag and his wife, he is so miserable he just does not want to go on. It was hard to blame him, so I just suggested he go to a shelter. I'm sure he never thought of that! But what else could I say? I have gone back to ignoring homeless people, poor souls!

One time, when I was around 30, my hubs and I went out for the night, then stopped at a liquor store to pick up some beer to have at home. I just waited in the car, and the sunroof was open because it was a summer night. All of a sudden, a group of young African American men surround my car and one of them pokes his head through the sunroof and says: "Hey baby!" I said: "What are you doing?" He said: "You looked so fly sitting in your car, how 'bout giving a brother a chance with love?" I almost died laughing! I said: "Honey, I am almost old enough to be your mom, isn't it past your bedtime, anyways?" Then of course all his friends say things like: "Damn! Shot down, that is cold!" etc. You'd think I would be a little freaked out, but the whole thing was funny. They leave and my hubs comes out, totally unaware of what just happened.

My BFF and I were staying at a youth hostel in France when I was eighteen years old. We were just hanging out on a bench in the front, when this man walks up to us and says (phonetically) "sigadet? sigadet?" We were like, "wth is a sigadet?!" Then we realized he was offering us a cigarette! Ohhhh! We said: "No, thank you." His response was to hiss at us! Like a snake! We looked at each other and fell on the ground laughing. Maybe a cultural thing? Maybe I will hiss at someone the next time they annoy me or reject my offerings of tobacco.

Brace yourself for this one, it's a doozy: Once when I was about nineteen I went on a date with this guy who wanted me to go to the bay area with him, so I went for the ride. He then pulls off into this scary looking neighborhood once we get down there and starts driving real slow. I said: "What in the world are we doing here?" He said to just hold on. I was convinced we were totally lost or something. Then these kids coming running up to the car shoving crack rocks, that's right! Crack rocks, in his face in a frenzy shouting: "Twenty dollars! Twenty dollars!" He grabs them from the kids and peels out of there, laughing (that's right! LAUGHING) about the fact that he just ripped off some juvenile drug dealers! OMG! OMG! OMG! I am surprised they didn't shoot us! This guy, btw, came from a very strict mormon family, I didn't see any of that coming. At... all. I think I blacked out after that, because I don't recall what happened after that.
I just remembered that my mom reads my blog...I wonder if she reads the Freak Magnet stories? I will find out that's for sure. When I was in high school and would be at the store with my mom, I used to try to embarrass her by shouting from two aisles away: "Mom! Mom! I found the Preparation H you were looking for!" I was really mature for my age. I'm sure she is proud...but I digress, as usual! Thanks for reading. Happy Friday!