Freak Magnet Friday! Tales from my life in retail...

I used to work retail for a number of years while I was going to college. Just a side note that my major was Psychology. In the early '90's I worked for about nine months at a well-known store at the Arden Fair mall in Sacramento that sold primarily leather goods. Coats, skirts, dresses, gloves, handbags, if it could be made out of leather we sold it! I learned that apparently leather attracts a lot of freaks (go figure). Here are some mini stories about some of the people I encountered while I worked as a sales associate. Btw, we did not make commission, but we always had the "wall of shame" in our backroom to show us who was making the best sales and who was making the worst. I remember thinking, "this does not motivate me in the least to sell more!" I mean, I was making $6.00 an hour for gosh sakes! But I digress...

The Cross Dresser: A man came in looking at our clothes. He was probably in his mid 50's and was rather tall and large. His demeanor reminded me of our family doctor. Professional, kind, etc. He kept looking at our largest sized skirts and was really checking them out. He asked what our largest size was, I told him 20 womens. He grabbed a size 20 red leather skirt and then very politely asked if I had any objections to him trying on the skirt! I told him whatever he does in the dressing room with our clothes was his business! I forgot about this guy until a couple years later I was sitting in a Philosophy class when it hit me where I recognized the instructor from! I gasped, and said, Oh my God!" out loud in the middle of class! Well, whatayaknow!

The pink-haired chick: This girl, late 20's, had bright, pink hair and brought a boatload of clothes up to the register. She wrote a check and we told her we had to verify funds. I called the bank and they told me, "Do not take that check!" Those checks were stolen. So, it takes us a long time to deal with all this. We called security and the cops while she was waiting. She then gets really impatient (instead of paranoid, which is what she should have felt) and says, "What the Hell is taking so long?" We kept telling her to wait, we were having trouble getting through, etc. and she just keeps huffing and puffing about having to wait for us. It took so long, that any self-respecting thief should have just got the heck out of there! But she stays, and ends up getting taken away in handcuffs! She also tried to blame me for setting her up!

The older greek guy and his young asian wife: So this couple comes in... he is in his 60's I think and is quite bulbuous, for lack of a better word. He introduces me to his wife who appears to be in her early twenties. He brags to me about how he owns a greek restaurant and gives me a business card with a picture of the restaurant that reminds me of the Pancake Circus building. They ask me to get a coat that is on a high hook, requiring me to climb a ladder, while I am wearing a skirt, ugh. My back was to them when he says to me, "When you are ready for a real man give me a call, I will show you what a good lover can do." I whipped around, because I couldn't believe my ears and he is standing there looking at me with his wife next to him just smiling at me! Eeew! As If!!!

The Cholo and his Mastercard: This young latino male, with lots of tattoos, long shorts and tall socks brings an insane amount of coats up to the register. He seemed suspicious because he would not even look at the sizes or prices of the items he wanted to purchase. Hmmm...I ring him up and tell him his total and he hands me a Mastercard that says the carholder's name is "Ronald Jones". It also stated that the card belonged to a member of the United States Postal Service. Now, I am not racist, but I was finding it hard to believe that: A). He was employed and B). That his name was "Ronald Jones". Sure enough, I ask for his ID and he says he lost it. So again, I tell him we have to verify the info. etc. and he tried to make some kind of comment about how he loves being a mailman! I almost laughed out loud! You really should have seen this guy! Anyways, we tell him we can't sell him the clothes without and ID and he just says, "Oh well." and walked away. I did get $100.00 for turning in the stolen card to the company. So that was cool.

The Playboy playmate: This (heavily bleached) blonde lady comes in and she is dressed like a streetwalker. Stiletto's, leather bustier, short skirt, big, ratted out hair, lots of make up. She looked a little rough, like she had partied hard one too many times. She starts telling us that it is imperative (my word, not hers) that she get the perfect leather outfit because she was going to do a photo shoot for Playboy magazine! She then had us all verify that she in was in fact, hot enough for such an opportunity. Whatever, lady! She flounts around for us all to admire her as she came out of the dressing room with each ensemble. She kept emphasizing that Hugh Hefner was very particular about what his ladies wear. This was just freakin' funny!

There are many more, but you get the picture! I sure learned a lot about people and their leather tastes, which was culture shock for a girl who just moved from a small, sheltered, farming community!