Only at an Elementary School!

I was talking with a co-worker of mine about the type of "shop talk" one would hear if they worked at an elementary school. Further, I work at a school with a high concentration of poverty, so there always seems to be some sort of drama going on. Here are some bits of conversation I have heard or things I have observed while at work.

Mother of a 5th grade boy: "If he starts to fart again in class, call me and I will come take him home immediately!"

Partner of a parent of a different 5th grade boy: "Can you please ask Mr. S to stop using Star Wars analogies in his teaching methods? It reminds him of his dad, who he doesn't get along with."

A mom walked into the office to pick up her son. She came into the office wearing boys "tighty whitey's" on her head!

A 1st grade student's uncle called us to say that he was on Google Earth and saw proof that his niece was wandering off campus...ok...

A student's excuse as to why she was absent the day before: "I didn't wake up until 2 o'clock in the afternoon."

A parent's response to why her daughter was late all the time: "It's just not important to me."

A student was wearing a dog-tag with a picture of Tupac Shakur on it. I asked him if I could get a closer look. He said: "It's Tupac, he's a rapper." Assuming that I wouldn't know who it was. I do have some "street cred" you know!

A student wondered why he couldn't hang out in my office. I told him I had a parent in there and we were talking about "grown up things". He said: "That's OK. I won't tell anyone what you guys talk about."

A student from Russia came by to see me and had scabs on his arm where he said his cousin pinched him when she couldn't take his teasing anymore. He said: "I have a good life. Except for the pinching."

A 4th grade boy was discussing with a fellow classmate how much they enjoy coming to my office. One said to the other: "Yeah, you should buy her flowers." The other boy said, "What? I don't have that kind of money!"

A parent who is known to be a bully to other parents came up to the window in the door of the Principal's office while we were talking. She looked in and jiggled the door knob but it was locked. It reminded me of that scene in Jurassic Park where the dinosaur looks in the window, jiggles the door knob and snorts, fogging up the glass.

I will periodically post more on Elementary School shop talk as more happens!