About ten years ago a small incident happened that I still wonder about. I will put the situation out there for you, please weigh in on what you think! Here it is:
Scene: Having some friends over to hang out in the backyard on a Sunday afternoon. Friend A is there with her hubs, Friend B is there with her hubs and two young children.
Friend A goes in the house to make an appetizer for us. She decides to use my new crystal serving dish and bowl to bring out said appetizer to the backyard. Here is what happened next. Picture this in slow motion for maximum effect. Friend A starts to walk out of the house into the backyard with the dish when Friend B's daughter runs into her. The dish and bowl and the food all go flying in the air, and my dish and bowl shatter into a million pieces....everyone scrambles to clean up the mess.
My question: Do you think either Friend A or Friend B should have offered to replace my crystal? It was kind of expensive, but I don't remember how much. If either one of them had offered, I would have been happy with that, but neither one of them said anything about it. Should I just have chalked it up as a party foul? Should I have chastized my friend for using my "fancy" dishes, when really she was just trying to make things nice? Should I have said to Friend B that she needs to control her kids better? (ha ha ha! I am just kidding, I have kids). I would love to hear all of your opinions on this riveting social dilemma! Also if either Friend A or Friend B is reading this, please give me your opinion as well. OK, waiting to hear from you now....
13 comments:
Offer to pay. Even an offer helps the person who just lost an item that was obviously nicer than a regular bowl. Then? If the hostess declines, purchase an item/flowers/novelty to give to the hostess just to let her know that you do feel bad. That is my take!
Friend A should have asked you if it was okay for her to use your expensive dishes. The world knows, children aren't easy to handle, and who would serve anything in a crystal bowl with children around?
As for the offer to pay... it depends on how you felt about the said bowl, and how much it really mattered to you. And then it depends on how you feel about Friend A, regardless of her intentions. Is this something she does often?
I definitely would have offered to pay. However, had I been the hostess, I would have refused the offer.
And in my opinion (sorry I hit send before I finished) Friend B is totally faultless. It is not like she told her kids to run into Friend A on purpose. You cannot predict that kind of thing, so to me, Friend B would be in the clear.
Hmm..tough one. As the hostess it should just get chalked up as an accident and I wouldn't expect anyone to replace it. But if I was Friend A I would feel horrible about dropping your dish and would want to replace it. If I was Friend B I would feel horrible that my daughter accidentally caused Friend A to drop the dish. So in my world, if I could simultaneously be Friend A and B they get together and plot how to replace your bowl for you.
Some people are just oblivious. I speak from experience... Once, many moons ago, my sis & I were driving along in mi padres SUV, and out of the blue a parked car side swiped us! Darlene immediately starts shouting, "Drive! Go! Go!" So in panic mode, I drove & went went. Needless to say, it the wrong thing to do. Some time down the road (maybe months), my parents were still really mad at me. Darlene finally told me that they were pissed because I hadn't offered to pay for the scratches on their vehicle. I actually never thought of that since I had no money to pay for it, and it wasn't until then that I realized perhaps I could work it off somehow, which is when I finally spoke to them about it. Nope, no, no, no, they didn't want to talk about it. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut since some people like to hold a grudge? (oh, not you - I was directing that at someone else) OK, that's off my chest.
Yes! Of course they both should have offered to pay for it!!
By the way, you say/write the funniest things, and you are such a clever writer, so naturally I had to check out your blog. Even Mike has shouted to me, "listen to what Yvonne wrote on FB..."
I think Friend A should of offered to pay or somehow replace it. Maybe in the moment I wouldn't of thought to offer but thinking upon the incidence I would of thought of it later and called and offered to pay.
I am still perplexed as to why your friend had to use your crystal dish for an outside app? Out of all of the dishes in your kitchen there probably were a dozen that were more appropriate. I won't even go into the realm of paper product possibilities ...
An offer to pay to replace the crystal dish should have been made immediately.
yah. I agree with most everyone. She should have asked about the bowl first. And then should have found a creative way to either replace it or offer. That's what I would have done. And I think friend B shoulda gone in on it too. When my dogs break stuff ( I mean IF, they NEVER ruin anyone else's shoes...erm, stuff....)I INSIST on replacing whatever it was.
It's always the gesture we need....not necessarily the item.
In summary....A&B shoulda offered.
Friend A..had good intentions,but lacked forethought.
Friend A should had offered to pay,and Friend B could have offered to pay half.I know her child didn't mean it,but if they both are grown ups,that is the right thing to do!!
I would def not use an expensive bowl unless I was drunk(maybe). Of course if it broke I would have to pay for it whether the hostess declined or not, that's just plain embarrasing!
It's just stuff. Crystal expensive bowl or not, it is just stuff and as someone that has people over a lot, I expect that it would happen from time to time. If I were friend A or B, I probably would have offered to replace it, but as the hostess I chalk it up to a party foul and move past it. Hanging on to stuff like this usually sucks for friendships.
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