So, I decide to take Dear son, who is almost three, and dear daughter who is five to the St. Patrick's Day parade in Old Sacramento. The weather is beautiful and the kids are excited! The parade is great, bagpipes, Irish dancers, clowns, etc. Everything is perfect, the kids get candy, bead necklaces, and dear son is given a two-foot tall flag, good times.
Now it is time to leave. We start walking back to the car which includes a walk over the river and down a long path. Dear son decides to hold the flag at an angle that will impale anyone's calf who comes near him. I try to take it from him or at least have him hold it more upright, but he is not having any of it. He starts yelling, "My flag! It's my flag!" Ok, ok, so I try to leave him alone. There are a lot of people walking so I go to hold his hand but he is too cool to hold mommy's hand. I tell him he needs to walk faster and he responds by tripping and falling and getting a splinter in his hand! So now we are walking and he is crying and saying, " My hand has blood! I have blood!" (There is no blood, he is always exagherating like that!)
Now we are on the long path back to the car when dear daugher starts doing the pee pee dance and says, "We have to hurry! I have to go to the bathroom!" Oh no...I tell her we still have a ways and maybe she should just go behind a bush or something, but she is afraid of anyone seeing her so we try to keep going. We finally get to the car and it is obvious we are not going to make it in time. I put dear son in the car and tell her to just squat behind the car. She does, but manages to pee all over her pants, socks and shoes! So now, dear son is crying saying his hand hurts and dear daughter is now pulling off her wet clothes so we can get home.
We finally get moving and I am wondering the whole time how fast things can go wrong. I cursed dear hubs for the millionth time for working nights and just start trying to get to the house. The kids fight the whole way home and when we pull into the driveway, I asked the kids if they had fun, and they both shout, "Yeah!" So, that made it worth all the drama! Never a dull moment, I tell ya!
10 comments:
I always find that peeing my pants is a boatload of fun as well.
well, I personally, always find that impaling people in the legs VERY fun and entertaining. I would consider THAT an awesome day!!
OMG I told Shae that sounds like your night at the Monster truck show! Andre lost his hat that he begged his Daddy to buy there, and Eric also pee peed his pants five minutes later after Shae took them to the bathroom and both had decided that the bathroom was too dirty! I was working and glad I missed out on it. Thank god most of the time kids remember the good stuff!
I find a parade, blood, and pee always make for a memorable day.
Oh, wow - good times! =)
Never a dull moment with dear son and dear daughter, is it? I was glad to read that when you got home, it was all worth it!
-Francesca
Hey! Have your kids met mine? It so sounds like a trip we would take! (here's hoping you got some good candy at least? Anyone throw green beer?)
Ummmm - let's see - could you maybe remind me please - what is it that you do for a living?
I know, believe me, I know - that stuff NEVER works on your own kids, does it?
But in all honesty, it kind of sounds like a normal 'field trip' without the dad person. If he had been there, it would have been much, much worse!!
I admire your courage!
Grannie in Florida
Well, my trip to the car was rather smooth, thank you parking garage.... he hee, I have a trick for the pee thing. You pull down the pants/chonis then hold them under their arm pits and put their feet in the car and then bend down so they are at a 90 degree angle, and then they pee. The pee hits the floor, and there is no chance of any clothes getting pee on them, plus the door opened gives you privacy from one side. This is only for girls of course, I can show you what I mean some time!--C.
I hope you came home and drank heavily. That is what keeps me going sometimes. The most important skill to teach a little girl is to squat pee. Sooo helpful. Neither of mine have mastered it either, not even sure if I have mastered it sometimes. :)
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