You know, I was really thinking about the whole issue of bullying in schools. It has been happening since probably the beginning of time, it's a kind of social Darwinism. The presumed weakest get picked on, bossed around, even beaten up! There are several programs and campaigns marketed to schools to stop bullying. I am a school counselor, it is part of my job to curtail this behavior, but it will never go away completely. It's a part of human nature, just not a very pretty part.
The interesting thing here is this. We tend to reward this behavior in adults! Example: There is a parent at our school that gets her way by bullying other parents and teachers alike. When she doesn't get her way she goes straight to the district office to threaten and yell at them. This is how she gets what she wants. We have given in to her threats, demands, and outright tantrums just to get her to leave us alone! She has threatened lawsuits, grievances, you name it! The entire PTA is scared of her! Yet, she continues, and gets what she wants through bullying and intimadation. She is not an isolated case by any means. I bet any of us could think of someone that gets what they want by bullying.
Don't get me wrong, I am all for advocating for your rights, but it's how one goes about doing it that makes the difference. This just makes me wonder what kind of message are we sending? If you are under 12 years old here you get punished for this behavior, but as an adult you get rewarded, you get your way no matter who you've hurt or stepped on! Ugh! It just frustrates me! I'm sure some of these people are just misguided souls, but I think it's our job to guide them towards other ways to get you needs met, you know? Anyways, that is my Monday rant. Feel free to argue, agree, or add! Thanks for reading this!
P.S. I disabled the 'word verification' feature. This should make it way easier to post a comment!
10 comments:
Excellent point! I actually belong to an etiquette message board, and this is the kind of stuff we talk about all the time. It's really unfortunate that aduls can get away with things when they bully.
Yep. Adults use this all the time, especially in schools. I am amazed and appalled at what we think we can get away with. The best part? What a example we are for our children.
Food for thought....do you think if we continue to teach that bullying is inappropriate and unacceptable that today's kids will grow up and not behave like certain adults? Perhaps I'm just optimistic today, but maybe there'll be some sort of trickle down effect?
Aside from that, I have to be honest and admit I am envious of adult bullies. Sometimes I want to get my way just because I'm not afraid to let my true bitchiness come out!!
I think it;s a learned behavior!! I bet this lady's kid is learning that if mom gets away with things by threatening maybe that's the way to resolve issues. The problem with that is in the real world you'll never be successful because instead of people admiring you, people will tend to avoid you. Pretty much pathetic if you ask me!
I think the question is - should the adult get her/his way just to get rid of them?
I have a neighbor with a 4 year old who can get anything she wants. At about 3 she learned very well that if she whined long enough both her mom and dad would give in to her. Ice cream before dinner????? Whine, whine - - here, honey - have two!
Is this any better than getting your way by being a bully?
I'm one of the stubborn ones who does NOT give in. I will stand my ground against a bully or a whiner every time. I've been this way since I was very young - my two older brothers taught me how to defend myself .. .. which pretty well took care of the bullying (they back down when you stand up to them) and I refuse to listen to whining.
Works for me every time!
Grannie in Florida
wow. I can NEVER get bullying to work for me. I've tried! But no one ever gives in. That's why I teach yoga. People NATURALLY have to do everything I say. It's a great job for bullies.
I cannot believe I did not comment on this post yet. What is wrong with me??? Bullies are just big meanies...I tend to realize that the apples don't fall far from the trees if you get my drift. I do believe it is something that has been around for ages...I hate the thought of my little girls getting bullied or being bullies. Let me just add, girls are the WORST when it comes to this. YUCK!!
I completely agree with you! I see this happening quite often as well.
I being meaning to leave you a comment but for some reason, I could not. I love this post, I see the bullying allot among kids and I can guarantee you is has to do allot with the parents. Also I added you to my blog list hopefully you don't mind.
Does this also apply to making friends? I have long used the bullying technique as a way to show people that I love them and that they should be apart of my inner circle.
Actually, wait. Don't respond to this yet. We'll just discuss it in person when we are at the Britney concert together!!!!
-Francesca
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