Ok, I was starting to get concerned that posting these stories every Friday might just make it look like I am the freak here! Maybe I am? Oh well. This story involves a woman this time, as I don't want it to look like just men are freaky.
Here is my story, and be glad it wasn't you!
It was 1998, I was twenty-eight years old, and I wanted to sell our embarrassingly out of date dining room table. I put an ad in the Penny Saver and the next day I got a call from a girl who wanted to come and look at the table. I told her where I lived and we realized we lived on the same street, what a coincidence! She said she would just walk over to look at it. She rang the doorbell and the first thing I notice is that she has put some kind of blemish concealer on her face, but forgot to blend it in. So I am looking at her wondering how someone could forget that they put little globs on their face before they left the house? I was so distracted by them because they were dotted all over her face. I wanted to grab her and say, "Here, let me blend that in for you!" But that would be weird, so I didn't. She comes in and I go to show her the table, but she doesn't seem interested in seeing it. She just looks at me and starts asking me questions:
Her: How long have you lived here? Are you married? What do you like to do for fun?
Me: Uh, the table is over here...
Her: (seeming disappointed?) Oh, yeah.
I take her to the dining room and I point to the table, she doesn't even look at it! She asks me how much I wanted for it, I told her the price or best offer, as I just wanted it out of the house. She quickly writes me a check, still hasn't looked at the table, btw, and keeps asking me questions that continue to catch me off guard! Here is more that I remember:
Her: So, maybe we could get together sometime...
Me: I, uh, I don't really, uh...
Her: I know! My husband could meet your boyfriend and maybe we could have a barbecue or go out!
At this point I don't remember what I said, but I somehow managed to get her out of the house. I asked her when she is going to pick up the table because she didn't bring a truck or anyone else with her. She didn't have an answer and I was just thinking, "Great, I am going to have to deal with her again!" So, eventually she gets her hubs to pick up the table and take it to their house. But of course, it doesn't end there.
For the next few weeks she continues to come over and ask me to do things with her, but not in a normal way! She asks me to come over and meet her parents with whom she and her husband still lived with! She also asked me to go to this "meeting" that she said I would like (never explained it either!). In all these drop-in visits, she shares with me that her parents hate her husband, because he is from a different race, and maybe they could move in with us, since we have an extra room and all! OMG!!!! What??? I remember starting to feel panicked, the way people do right before a vampire bites their neck... I know this is a weird analogy, but it fit for me at the time!
Ok, now maybe she was reaching out, lonely, selling Amway, or whatever, but her approach really creeped me out! And did she really play out that whole scenario in her head? Did she really picture me, saying, "Yes! That sounds like a grand idea! Please move in right away?"
Finally she went on her way, never to be seen again. You might wonder what my dear hubs reaction to all this was? Did he say to me, "Wow! That is weird!" Or, "Holy Cow! What was that all about??" Nope. He said, "Well, you shouldn't be surprised, you know you are a freak magnet, after all." He is sooo good at making me feel validated!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
An "In Depth" Interview!
Ok, first I have decided that these hearts on my themed back ground are already driving me crazy, might not wait until Valentine's Day to change it.
Second, and of no significance...I woke up this morning to the theme song from "Caillou" playing in my head! "I'm just a kid who's four! I smell like dinosaurs! I have a ginormous head and weird eyes, I'm Caillou, Caillou..." (OK, I know that's not it exactly) but jeez...
In a desperate attempt to find a new topic to blog about, I thought I would try interviewing someone I find fascinating! In this case it is my dear 5 year old daughter! To put a spin on it, I asked her, "Hey how about we pretend your are a grown up and I ask you some questions?!" She whole-heartedly agreed. She has been cranky since we got home so I thought this might distract her in a good way.
Here is the interview:
Me: (Trying to sound like Barbara Walters) So tell me, now that you are a grown up, where do you see yourself in five years?
Her: (Rude, elitist tone) I don't know!
Me: Uh, Ok, so what goals have you set for yourself?
Her: (same tone) I don't know!
Me: Hmm, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Her: What does 'spare' mean?
(Need to change interview strategy at this point)
Me: What kind of job do you want?
Her: I want to be a ballerina, and Oh! Did you know that F. wants to be a pilot? I don't know why she wants to be a pilot, she just does...
Me: That's interesting! Let's get back to you, tell me, who is the real Dear Daughter?
Her: That is a weird question! This is kind of a boring game...let's play 'I Spy'!
Me: Wait, just one more question! If you had three wishes, what would they be?
Her: (Whispering) Am I still a grown up? I will pretend that I am you!
Me: Ok, let's hear your wishes if you were really me!
Her: I wish my daughter would always be a nice girl. I wish my daughter would go to bed by herself, and I wish she would stay in her own bed the whole night!
Wow, she really knows what I want! If only she carried out this insight she has!
Immediately after those statements there was an unfortunate physical altercation between her and her little brother, which needless to say ended our extremely intellectual interview. Maybe next time!
Maybe I will try again when she is in a better mood.
Second, and of no significance...I woke up this morning to the theme song from "Caillou" playing in my head! "I'm just a kid who's four! I smell like dinosaurs! I have a ginormous head and weird eyes, I'm Caillou, Caillou..." (OK, I know that's not it exactly) but jeez...
In a desperate attempt to find a new topic to blog about, I thought I would try interviewing someone I find fascinating! In this case it is my dear 5 year old daughter! To put a spin on it, I asked her, "Hey how about we pretend your are a grown up and I ask you some questions?!" She whole-heartedly agreed. She has been cranky since we got home so I thought this might distract her in a good way.
Here is the interview:
Me: (Trying to sound like Barbara Walters) So tell me, now that you are a grown up, where do you see yourself in five years?
Her: (Rude, elitist tone) I don't know!
Me: Uh, Ok, so what goals have you set for yourself?
Her: (same tone) I don't know!
Me: Hmm, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Her: What does 'spare' mean?
(Need to change interview strategy at this point)
Me: What kind of job do you want?
Her: I want to be a ballerina, and Oh! Did you know that F. wants to be a pilot? I don't know why she wants to be a pilot, she just does...
Me: That's interesting! Let's get back to you, tell me, who is the real Dear Daughter?
Her: That is a weird question! This is kind of a boring game...let's play 'I Spy'!
Me: Wait, just one more question! If you had three wishes, what would they be?
Her: (Whispering) Am I still a grown up? I will pretend that I am you!
Me: Ok, let's hear your wishes if you were really me!
Her: I wish my daughter would always be a nice girl. I wish my daughter would go to bed by herself, and I wish she would stay in her own bed the whole night!
Wow, she really knows what I want! If only she carried out this insight she has!
Immediately after those statements there was an unfortunate physical altercation between her and her little brother, which needless to say ended our extremely intellectual interview. Maybe next time!
Maybe I will try again when she is in a better mood.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
20 Random Facts, Habits, Quirks About Me, pass it on!
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 20 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 20 people to be tagged.
1. I have an extremely morbid sense of curiousity.
2. I became a minister of the Universal Life Church in case any couple wanted me to marry them.
3. I had both my upper and lower jaw reconstructed.
4. I was Bilingual for years, but lost it, somehow.
5. I almost died when I was 22.
6. I have demonstrated uncanny psychic abilities. (Used to freak out my husband).
7. 95% of my dreams involve the ocean in some way, shape or form.
8. I love turtles!
9. I am fascinated by Archeology.
10. When I was 14, I begged and pleaded with my mom to please, please let me watch "Purple Rain." (Denied!)
11. I was chased down and bitten by a German Shepard dog when I was in 5th grade.
12. I moved five times by the time I was six years old.
13. When I was in 8th grade I knew two things for sure: One, I am never getting married! Two, I am never having kids! (Not so much psychic ability in this case)
14. At age 27 I still had no idea what to do with my life.
15. My senior year in high school was one of the funnest years of my life.
16. I have never been in a fight.
17. Tamales are my ultimate comfort food.
18. I often wonder whether I have A.D.D.
19. I love old Batman & Robin paraphernalia.
20. Unfortunately for everyone else, on December 31st, 2008, I conquered my fear of singing karaoke! Watch out, Love Shack, baby, yeah!
Tagging The Bom G family, for now!
1. I have an extremely morbid sense of curiousity.
2. I became a minister of the Universal Life Church in case any couple wanted me to marry them.
3. I had both my upper and lower jaw reconstructed.
4. I was Bilingual for years, but lost it, somehow.
5. I almost died when I was 22.
6. I have demonstrated uncanny psychic abilities. (Used to freak out my husband).
7. 95% of my dreams involve the ocean in some way, shape or form.
8. I love turtles!
9. I am fascinated by Archeology.
10. When I was 14, I begged and pleaded with my mom to please, please let me watch "Purple Rain." (Denied!)
11. I was chased down and bitten by a German Shepard dog when I was in 5th grade.
12. I moved five times by the time I was six years old.
13. When I was in 8th grade I knew two things for sure: One, I am never getting married! Two, I am never having kids! (Not so much psychic ability in this case)
14. At age 27 I still had no idea what to do with my life.
15. My senior year in high school was one of the funnest years of my life.
16. I have never been in a fight.
17. Tamales are my ultimate comfort food.
18. I often wonder whether I have A.D.D.
19. I love old Batman & Robin paraphernalia.
20. Unfortunately for everyone else, on December 31st, 2008, I conquered my fear of singing karaoke! Watch out, Love Shack, baby, yeah!
Tagging The Bom G family, for now!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
What Should I Blog About?
Hmmm...what shall I blog about?
I know! How about that time I really lost my temper and told (warned?) dear daughter: When I hear whining, it makes me want to hit people! No, too shameful.
Oh! How about that time I walked into the garage completely naked after getting out of the shower and realizing to my horror that two of my husband's friends had stopped by? Nah, way too embarrassing!
Ah! I got it! That time I laughed out loud and hard when my mother-in-law asked to use my cell phone and then asked me why she couldn't get a dial tone? No, that was too awkward once I figured out that she was serious. Ooops....
Ok! That time I accidently ran over and dragged an orange construction cone on my way to meet one of my bosses, who, to my chagrin, witnessed the whole thing with a "WTH?" look on his face? No, that one just makes me look like an idiot!
Gosh, running out of ideas...A work story? The time a high school student asked me to go to the Prom with him, causing his whole class to laugh while I tried to maintain my professionalism? No, not a long enough story...
What about sharing my secret plan, er, I mean, fantasy? This involves me getting ready for work as usual but once I leave the house I call in sick and drive to a hotel, check-in, put pajamas back on, read magazines and take a three hour nap? No, I shouldn't share that one, just in case I actually follow through with it!
Hopefully I will come up a topic next time....
I know! How about that time I really lost my temper and told (warned?) dear daughter: When I hear whining, it makes me want to hit people! No, too shameful.
Oh! How about that time I walked into the garage completely naked after getting out of the shower and realizing to my horror that two of my husband's friends had stopped by? Nah, way too embarrassing!
Ah! I got it! That time I laughed out loud and hard when my mother-in-law asked to use my cell phone and then asked me why she couldn't get a dial tone? No, that was too awkward once I figured out that she was serious. Ooops....
Ok! That time I accidently ran over and dragged an orange construction cone on my way to meet one of my bosses, who, to my chagrin, witnessed the whole thing with a "WTH?" look on his face? No, that one just makes me look like an idiot!
Gosh, running out of ideas...A work story? The time a high school student asked me to go to the Prom with him, causing his whole class to laugh while I tried to maintain my professionalism? No, not a long enough story...
What about sharing my secret plan, er, I mean, fantasy? This involves me getting ready for work as usual but once I leave the house I call in sick and drive to a hotel, check-in, put pajamas back on, read magazines and take a three hour nap? No, I shouldn't share that one, just in case I actually follow through with it!
Hopefully I will come up a topic next time....
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Freak Magnet Friday! Story #4
Ok, I am still not plugged in to invite all, but I am working on it!
This is a two part story, one involving my freak magnetism followed by something that happened later that same day, which was described by a doctor as a "freak thing."
It was 1993, and I was twenty-two years old, here is my story, and be glad it wasn't you...
One afternoon I was in the middle of trying to cut off all ties to an ex-boyfriend by having the "Dear John" talk with him. He wasn't taking it so well. We are in his car driving as I am explaining that I have found someone else and we need to go our separate ways. He is not receptive to my conversation and just starts shaking his head like, no, no , no. I am then done with said conversation and notice that he has got on the freeway going the opposite direction of where we need to go.
Me: Where are you going???
Him: I am kidnapping you.
Me: Turn around and go back, someone is waiting for me!
Him: Nope, call the cops if you want, I don't care what happens now.
Me: @#$%^&*!!!!
How do I get myself into these things? Ah yes, poor judgement. Moving on...
I really turn it up with the arguing and pleading at the same time. He finally pulls off out in the middle of no where. I get out of the car because I really don't know what else to do and I am furious! I loudly try to explain to him that this is stupid and weird and eventually he will need to go home. This is when I feel a sharp, strange pain where I thought my appendix might be (I was wrong). I bend over because it hurts to stand up. Ex-boyfriend then announces:
I am taking you to the Emergency Room.
Me: Give me a break!
Him: Let's go right now, you look funny.
I kinda felt funny, too. Light headed and dizzy. So off we go to the freakin' ER!
We get there and of course have to wait. I tried to leave but the nurse tells me I'm next. So after a bunch of tests and speculations, I faint! I have never before (or since) fainted. So I was a little freaked out. I then get an ultrasound of my belly to see what's going on. I asked the Tech. if she could see anything. She doesn't answer me and calls to someone with a call button. The next thing I know a group of nurses surround me like I am on fire and are yelling all kinds of directions to each other! They put an IV in each arm and are shouting that I need to get in for surgery and they wheel me away on a gurney! W...T...F...? No one has told me anything at this point! I am totally clueless as to what is going on. Then my mom and dad show up and ask a doctor what's happening.
Mom: What are you doing with her?
Doctor: Your daughter need surgery right away!
Mom: What for? Is that necessary???
Doctor: Your daughter is bleeding internally and if she doesn't have surgery right away, she is going to die.
Me: (again, to myself) W...T...F...?
Epilogue:
I don't remember anything else until the surgery was over. The doctor said a cyst broke off in my body and ruptured some parts causing internal bleeding. A "freak thing." He said. So rare, that he didn't think to look into that possibility!
After that, my ex-boyfriend referred to himself as my Guardian Angel! That's nice...
This is a two part story, one involving my freak magnetism followed by something that happened later that same day, which was described by a doctor as a "freak thing."
It was 1993, and I was twenty-two years old, here is my story, and be glad it wasn't you...
One afternoon I was in the middle of trying to cut off all ties to an ex-boyfriend by having the "Dear John" talk with him. He wasn't taking it so well. We are in his car driving as I am explaining that I have found someone else and we need to go our separate ways. He is not receptive to my conversation and just starts shaking his head like, no, no , no. I am then done with said conversation and notice that he has got on the freeway going the opposite direction of where we need to go.
Me: Where are you going???
Him: I am kidnapping you.
Me: Turn around and go back, someone is waiting for me!
Him: Nope, call the cops if you want, I don't care what happens now.
Me: @#$%^&*!!!!
How do I get myself into these things? Ah yes, poor judgement. Moving on...
I really turn it up with the arguing and pleading at the same time. He finally pulls off out in the middle of no where. I get out of the car because I really don't know what else to do and I am furious! I loudly try to explain to him that this is stupid and weird and eventually he will need to go home. This is when I feel a sharp, strange pain where I thought my appendix might be (I was wrong). I bend over because it hurts to stand up. Ex-boyfriend then announces:
I am taking you to the Emergency Room.
Me: Give me a break!
Him: Let's go right now, you look funny.
I kinda felt funny, too. Light headed and dizzy. So off we go to the freakin' ER!
We get there and of course have to wait. I tried to leave but the nurse tells me I'm next. So after a bunch of tests and speculations, I faint! I have never before (or since) fainted. So I was a little freaked out. I then get an ultrasound of my belly to see what's going on. I asked the Tech. if she could see anything. She doesn't answer me and calls to someone with a call button. The next thing I know a group of nurses surround me like I am on fire and are yelling all kinds of directions to each other! They put an IV in each arm and are shouting that I need to get in for surgery and they wheel me away on a gurney! W...T...F...? No one has told me anything at this point! I am totally clueless as to what is going on. Then my mom and dad show up and ask a doctor what's happening.
Mom: What are you doing with her?
Doctor: Your daughter need surgery right away!
Mom: What for? Is that necessary???
Doctor: Your daughter is bleeding internally and if she doesn't have surgery right away, she is going to die.
Me: (again, to myself) W...T...F...?
Epilogue:
I don't remember anything else until the surgery was over. The doctor said a cyst broke off in my body and ruptured some parts causing internal bleeding. A "freak thing." He said. So rare, that he didn't think to look into that possibility!
After that, my ex-boyfriend referred to himself as my Guardian Angel! That's nice...
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
My Fantasy Life...in the blogosphere
I, like all human beings, have the basic need to be loved and adored by everyone I know. Yes, I said "basic need" as in Maslow's hierarchy of needs: Food, shelter, and need for adoration, in that order. I am new to blogging but am learning things everyday. Things like linking blogs, Memes, hosting carnivals, etc. A whole new world! In this world, my fantasy is that everyone on-line who reads blogs will read mine and react like that teacher in "A Christmas Story", where Ralphie fantasizes about his A+++++ paper, you remember, right? I will get hundreds of comments, all positive of course! Then Google notices the enormous buzz around my blog and asks me if they could please, please advertise on my blog page and would $5000.00 a month be enough???
Ok, back to reality...I do realize that the blog world can be quite an emotional roller coaster. Why? I wondered. My guess is that even though most of us are not putting our most private thoughts out there, we are journaling for all to read. Then further opening ourselves up by inviting comments from friends and (often) strangers alike! This then creates another level of possible vulnerabilities. I.e. Why is no one commenting? What was meant by that comment? Why did I lose a follower? etc. In a nutshell, a whole new avenue for social rejection!
On the flip side, I have found a new and exciting hobby with blogging! I love those I have connected with and feel like we share a kind of sisterhood, only understood by us! I say sisterhood because I have only had one comment from a man, and it was one time. I did appreciate it, nonetheless. I am completely hooked on blogging and everything about it. It is an awesome outlet for me, all thanks to the freakin' internet!
Ok, back to reality...I do realize that the blog world can be quite an emotional roller coaster. Why? I wondered. My guess is that even though most of us are not putting our most private thoughts out there, we are journaling for all to read. Then further opening ourselves up by inviting comments from friends and (often) strangers alike! This then creates another level of possible vulnerabilities. I.e. Why is no one commenting? What was meant by that comment? Why did I lose a follower? etc. In a nutshell, a whole new avenue for social rejection!
On the flip side, I have found a new and exciting hobby with blogging! I love those I have connected with and feel like we share a kind of sisterhood, only understood by us! I say sisterhood because I have only had one comment from a man, and it was one time. I did appreciate it, nonetheless. I am completely hooked on blogging and everything about it. It is an awesome outlet for me, all thanks to the freakin' internet!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Random quotes and observations, riveting!
Here are some random things that I found interesting the last few days:
Friday, at work I asked a 2nd grade student what he did over the holiday break. With a completely serious face he said:
I went Jellyfishing with my family. (See SpongeBob Squarepants cartoon for reference).
In addition what actually was funnier, was my trying to explain this to my mom, who has no idea what Spongebob is about and why I thought this was funny!
Example: Jellyfishing? What is that? Where do people do that? etc.
Yesterday, dear son came up to me wearing some butterfly wings from an old costume:
Mommy, can I fly for real with these wings???
Same day, dear daughter was eating some soup and said to herself:
Eww, this soup doesn't taste good.
Then pours some of her lemonade from her juicebox into the soup and tastes it:
Oh, that's better!
A question I asked myself:
OMG! Why are both kids stark naked in the back yard???
At a restaurant, where both my kids and both my nephews are trying to eat lunch with my dad, I hear him saying:
Ok, let's not talk about 'Butts' anymore while we are eating, ok?
They completely blew him off, btw.
Dear son wanted to sing Karaoke with grandma, grabs the microphone and starts singing:
Pee pee in the booty! Pee pee in the booty!
A musical genius he is!
Dear son says to me when he got put into a time-out:
Mommy! You are bad! Really, really, really, bad you!
Saturday morning, as I am desperately trying to sleep in, I wake up to find a hideous ghoul figurine from Halloween on my chest when I open my eyes, 'WTH'? I thought to myself. Dear daughter asks, laughing excitedly:
Did that scare you mommy? Did it scare you?
And so this has been scenes from my life this weekend. Not like it used to be!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Freak Magnet Friday story #2
Ok, so I have not linked this to officially invite people to participate, but I am planning on working with Mr. Linky this weekend. I think part of why I have not got around to this is because I am currently dealing with an addiction problem to something called Facebook, but that's another story. As I was researching these stories a few recurring themes appeared. First, all of my good stories take place before I was married. Second, most involve a man in some way, I'm sure this is just a coincidence, as I know freakiness transcends gender! Enjoy, and be glad it wasn't you:
This story takes place in 1989, I was nineteen and attending college full-time. One day I was sitting in a criminal justice class minding my own business. The class ended, I was getting my stuff together, when out of the blue the guy who was sitting behind me asked me in a loud voice:
Can I have your phone number?
Me: What?
him: I was wondering if you would give me your phone number.
It seemed like the whole class was watching me, waiting for my answer. Frozen, until I said something. Ugh!
First of all, I have no idea who this guy is, we have never exchanged words or even a glance as far as I remembered. He seemed harmless and in my embarrassment I gave him my number. Why did I do this? Why didn't I say no, or make up ANY other excuse that I could have come up with?? To this day I don't get this, but anyways! So I give him my number and hope nothing comes of it. Wrong! He starts calling me and says he really wants to get to know me, etc. He seemed nice enough, so I met him for coffee a couple of times, no big deal, right?
He kicks it up a notch.
He now wants me to be his official girlfriend! Oh no....Here we go....
I tell him that I am kinda seeing someone else, not ready to be in a relationship, it's not you it's me, blah, blah. But this does not sway him! A few days later at school:
Weird dude: I have something that will convince you to be my girlfriend!
Me: (Heavily sighing, but amused) what is it?
He hands me what looks to be someone's diary! It is. It apparently belonged to a girl he used to date. He tells me if I read it, I will see that she spoke glowingly of him, how nice he was, how generous, loving, and all around perfect boyfriend! I hand the book back to him and I am laughing, because this seems silly to me, right? He will not be deterred by my laughter! He starts to read quotes from the book in an effort to convince me that we should be together! Oh jeez...I had this thought in that moment where I wished like crazy that ANYBODY else could be there to witness this, because this is weird, and kinda funny! Poor schlep...So then my freak radar is starting to kick in and I realize I have to cut off all contact with this guy, which is a bit difficult because we had a class together. Still, it must be done.
I tell him that this just isn't going to work out and we need to go our separate ways, yadda yadda...He kick it up another notch.
He starts giving me expensive gifts, not new gifts mind you, but someone paid a lot for these things. I'm talking a mini, hand held TV, Vaurnet sunglasses, a boom box, a HUGE teddy bear, There was more but I don't remember anymore....I tell him I cannot accept these gifts (I did manage to hang on to the mini TV, it was awesome at the time and I thought I deserved if for tolerating him as long as I did) and that is when he FINALLY realized it wasn't going to happen between us. So he stopped talking to me.
This basically ends here with one final funny moment. He started dating someone else. How do I know this? One day he was talking to her in the hallway before class started, when he saw me coming toward the class, he grabbed her and started kissing her like they were in a romance novel, I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth but managed to get past them and into my seat.
This story takes place in 1989, I was nineteen and attending college full-time. One day I was sitting in a criminal justice class minding my own business. The class ended, I was getting my stuff together, when out of the blue the guy who was sitting behind me asked me in a loud voice:
Can I have your phone number?
Me: What?
him: I was wondering if you would give me your phone number.
It seemed like the whole class was watching me, waiting for my answer. Frozen, until I said something. Ugh!
First of all, I have no idea who this guy is, we have never exchanged words or even a glance as far as I remembered. He seemed harmless and in my embarrassment I gave him my number. Why did I do this? Why didn't I say no, or make up ANY other excuse that I could have come up with?? To this day I don't get this, but anyways! So I give him my number and hope nothing comes of it. Wrong! He starts calling me and says he really wants to get to know me, etc. He seemed nice enough, so I met him for coffee a couple of times, no big deal, right?
He kicks it up a notch.
He now wants me to be his official girlfriend! Oh no....Here we go....
I tell him that I am kinda seeing someone else, not ready to be in a relationship, it's not you it's me, blah, blah. But this does not sway him! A few days later at school:
Weird dude: I have something that will convince you to be my girlfriend!
Me: (Heavily sighing, but amused) what is it?
He hands me what looks to be someone's diary! It is. It apparently belonged to a girl he used to date. He tells me if I read it, I will see that she spoke glowingly of him, how nice he was, how generous, loving, and all around perfect boyfriend! I hand the book back to him and I am laughing, because this seems silly to me, right? He will not be deterred by my laughter! He starts to read quotes from the book in an effort to convince me that we should be together! Oh jeez...I had this thought in that moment where I wished like crazy that ANYBODY else could be there to witness this, because this is weird, and kinda funny! Poor schlep...So then my freak radar is starting to kick in and I realize I have to cut off all contact with this guy, which is a bit difficult because we had a class together. Still, it must be done.
I tell him that this just isn't going to work out and we need to go our separate ways, yadda yadda...He kick it up another notch.
He starts giving me expensive gifts, not new gifts mind you, but someone paid a lot for these things. I'm talking a mini, hand held TV, Vaurnet sunglasses, a boom box, a HUGE teddy bear, There was more but I don't remember anymore....I tell him I cannot accept these gifts (I did manage to hang on to the mini TV, it was awesome at the time and I thought I deserved if for tolerating him as long as I did) and that is when he FINALLY realized it wasn't going to happen between us. So he stopped talking to me.
This basically ends here with one final funny moment. He started dating someone else. How do I know this? One day he was talking to her in the hallway before class started, when he saw me coming toward the class, he grabbed her and started kissing her like they were in a romance novel, I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth but managed to get past them and into my seat.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I'm bringin' my sexy back! Or, my tribute to Justin Timberlake's song
I have finally come up with a New Years Resolution that I am happy with! Now that my last baby is getting close to turning three years old, it is time to bring my sexy back! I will explain...For the last six years I have been dressing, how do you say? Ah, yes, "mom-ish". Not that there's anything wrong with that, I am a mom after all! But I am talking minimal make-up, flat shoes, no earrings, "sensible" clothes. I was fine with this for a while, as it is how you survive with little ones! However, it hit me that I am going to turn #( this year, this is not a typo! It is code, look at the number line at the top of your keyboard. I can't bear to type the actually numbers without getting weepy. I digress...so then I felt panicky, how many years do I have before I don't care if I wear high-waisted pants and the rest that goes with that? Ten, fifteen years, maybe? Will I be like Sally O'Malley on SNL? (See above pic). 
It's bad enough that I sneak into the Juniors department because their clothes are so much cheaper! I won't be able to get away with this for much longer! Why is the music so loud in there anyways? (hee hee). So, as I wait to finance my tummy tuck, I am going to try to live it up with my skinny jeans and my high heeled boots, I just hope my feet can take it...
It's bad enough that I sneak into the Juniors department because their clothes are so much cheaper! I won't be able to get away with this for much longer! Why is the music so loud in there anyways? (hee hee). So, as I wait to finance my tummy tuck, I am going to try to live it up with my skinny jeans and my high heeled boots, I just hope my feet can take it...Friday, January 9, 2009
Welcome to Freak Magnet Friday!
(Imagine echoe-y announcer voice, followed by sounds of thunder for maximum effect). Ok, I am still planning to invite everyone in blogworld to participate (thanks for the idea, 3 Baby Chicks), but have not had the uninterrupted time to set this up. So, Hopefully I will have this done by next Friday. To remind you, I have decided to have Freak Magnet Friday where every week I share a bizarre, strange, random, but true story of my interactions with other fellow humans. Here is today's story, enjoy....and be glad it wasn't you.:
This story takes place around the summer of 1999. I used to work for a counseling agency where once a year we would all go on a three-day retreat to Bodega Bay and stay in a house on the beach. That was my absolute favorite thing we did there. You could hear the beach from any of the bedroom windows and there was a trail that led straight from the house to the beach. It was awesome! In the three days we had we only had to have one meeting that last two hours, the rest of the time we could do whatever we wanted, glorious!
So, one afternoon, I put on my bikini (I could still wear one at the time), grabbed a towel, a magazine, and a Corona and went to go find a place to relax and read and soak up the sun. I went walking and found a little enclave in some rocks where I thought I could sit and read in privacy..the perfect spot for me! I was so happy!
So I am reading, looking at the ocean every now and then, it was zen-like....and then I see someone swimming in the ocean about 20 feet from the beach. I thought to myself, "Who is swimming alone way over here? Where did they come from?" Hmmm, kind of odd, but oh well, I went back to my reading. Then the swimmer swam to shore not far from me. He was an average Joe looking man, probably late forties, but he came out of the ocean wearing only his tighty-whiteys!!!! It took me a second to realize that a man has just emerged out of the ocean wearing his fruit of the looms, which let me tell you, are not meant for swimming in! I thought to myself, because I know how these things happen to me, "Oh no, here we go..."
So Chonie Boy, as I called him in my head, comes up to me and asks me if he can sit on my towel with me!!!! Ewww!!! I was so thrown off that I didn't even answer. He sits on my towel as if he and I are best friends! He starts asking me random questions, but I can't really comprehend him because I am starting to think that something horrible is going to happen to me and no one will know! My heart started pounding, I was thinking, "How in the He-- am I going to get away from this guy?" I made a point of telling him that I was here at the beach with LOTS of people so that he wouldn't get any ideas. But who knows? He continues to talk and then asks me if he can have a sip of my beer!! Again, ewwww!!! What is wrong with this guy? So, as I am hitting my crescendo of panic, I see one of my co-workers heading my way, just on a walk. I ran to her like she was my angel of mercy! She was a beautiful sight! Such relief...I grabbed my stuff away from Chonie boy and walked with my friend back to the beach house, where of course I shared this exact same story!
Not sure what happened to this guy. But I wondered if he was asking himself where he went wrong with me? Maybe he was berating himself saying, "Stupid! You should have never asked her for a sip of her beer!"
This story takes place around the summer of 1999. I used to work for a counseling agency where once a year we would all go on a three-day retreat to Bodega Bay and stay in a house on the beach. That was my absolute favorite thing we did there. You could hear the beach from any of the bedroom windows and there was a trail that led straight from the house to the beach. It was awesome! In the three days we had we only had to have one meeting that last two hours, the rest of the time we could do whatever we wanted, glorious!
So, one afternoon, I put on my bikini (I could still wear one at the time), grabbed a towel, a magazine, and a Corona and went to go find a place to relax and read and soak up the sun. I went walking and found a little enclave in some rocks where I thought I could sit and read in privacy..the perfect spot for me! I was so happy!
So I am reading, looking at the ocean every now and then, it was zen-like....and then I see someone swimming in the ocean about 20 feet from the beach. I thought to myself, "Who is swimming alone way over here? Where did they come from?" Hmmm, kind of odd, but oh well, I went back to my reading. Then the swimmer swam to shore not far from me. He was an average Joe looking man, probably late forties, but he came out of the ocean wearing only his tighty-whiteys!!!! It took me a second to realize that a man has just emerged out of the ocean wearing his fruit of the looms, which let me tell you, are not meant for swimming in! I thought to myself, because I know how these things happen to me, "Oh no, here we go..."
So Chonie Boy, as I called him in my head, comes up to me and asks me if he can sit on my towel with me!!!! Ewww!!! I was so thrown off that I didn't even answer. He sits on my towel as if he and I are best friends! He starts asking me random questions, but I can't really comprehend him because I am starting to think that something horrible is going to happen to me and no one will know! My heart started pounding, I was thinking, "How in the He-- am I going to get away from this guy?" I made a point of telling him that I was here at the beach with LOTS of people so that he wouldn't get any ideas. But who knows? He continues to talk and then asks me if he can have a sip of my beer!! Again, ewwww!!! What is wrong with this guy? So, as I am hitting my crescendo of panic, I see one of my co-workers heading my way, just on a walk. I ran to her like she was my angel of mercy! She was a beautiful sight! Such relief...I grabbed my stuff away from Chonie boy and walked with my friend back to the beach house, where of course I shared this exact same story!
Not sure what happened to this guy. But I wondered if he was asking himself where he went wrong with me? Maybe he was berating himself saying, "Stupid! You should have never asked her for a sip of her beer!"
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Things I hear that make me go, "Oh no..."
Another list!
At home:
1. dear daughter saying: "Mom! Look what brother did!"
2. a loud noise, followed by louder crying.
3. dear son, saying: "uh oh, look what happened..."
4. Either one of them saying: "I broke this..."
5. Dear son coming up to me saying: "Come look, poo poo."
At work:
1. Call to my office: "You need to come to the office right now."
2. Secretary telling me: "We have a situation..."
3. Teacher calling me: "Can you come to my class right now?" Me: "Is something wrong?"
Teacher: "Yes."
4. Principal to me: "You got a minute?"
5. Any staff: "We have a parent here who is extremely upset with us and we need you to talk to them."
As a side note, I do enjoy the unpredictability of all this, but it's the first thing I think, nonetheless.
Stay tuned for my Freak Magnet Friday story sometime tomorrow!
At home:
1. dear daughter saying: "Mom! Look what brother did!"
2. a loud noise, followed by louder crying.
3. dear son, saying: "uh oh, look what happened..."
4. Either one of them saying: "I broke this..."
5. Dear son coming up to me saying: "Come look, poo poo."
At work:
1. Call to my office: "You need to come to the office right now."
2. Secretary telling me: "We have a situation..."
3. Teacher calling me: "Can you come to my class right now?" Me: "Is something wrong?"
Teacher: "Yes."
4. Principal to me: "You got a minute?"
5. Any staff: "We have a parent here who is extremely upset with us and we need you to talk to them."
As a side note, I do enjoy the unpredictability of all this, but it's the first thing I think, nonetheless.
Stay tuned for my Freak Magnet Friday story sometime tomorrow!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
My own ongoing list of questions running through my head at random times
I realize that as people, (inspired by Trueloveisamama) we all have an ongoing list of questions running through our heads at different times during the day. Mine are these ( I have edited for the sake of space) :
1. Why do I hate cooking so much? I mean I really hate it. I know some people get some fulfillment out of nourishing others through food, but I just abhor it, and I have to do it at least twice a day, most days.
2. Is it possible for me to have some sort of seizure by the way the light in our laundry room strobes? It is like torture to my retinas, I should have dear hubby look into that....
3. Do I take Advil too often?
4. Why is it that when dear hubby starts to tell me anything about what happened at his work I tune out after about 5 seconds? (I almost feel bad about this).
5. Speaking of dear hubby...is it wrong to be jealous of the fact that he can take a nap and be asleep as soon as said nap is announced?
6. Why don't I have a live-in maid? Carol Brady had one and she didn't even leave the house! Yes, she had six kids, but weren't most of them old enough to make their own beds and do their own laundry?
Ok, I realize that this list sounds a bit neurotic, but what about y'all?
1. Why do I hate cooking so much? I mean I really hate it. I know some people get some fulfillment out of nourishing others through food, but I just abhor it, and I have to do it at least twice a day, most days.
2. Is it possible for me to have some sort of seizure by the way the light in our laundry room strobes? It is like torture to my retinas, I should have dear hubby look into that....
3. Do I take Advil too often?
4. Why is it that when dear hubby starts to tell me anything about what happened at his work I tune out after about 5 seconds? (I almost feel bad about this).
5. Speaking of dear hubby...is it wrong to be jealous of the fact that he can take a nap and be asleep as soon as said nap is announced?
6. Why don't I have a live-in maid? Carol Brady had one and she didn't even leave the house! Yes, she had six kids, but weren't most of them old enough to make their own beds and do their own laundry?
Ok, I realize that this list sounds a bit neurotic, but what about y'all?
Monday, January 5, 2009
My perfect, sunshiney family!
I was noticing that when I post about my kids that it has been only to discuss how they have either enraged me or shocked me. But, of course they have good sides, too. I will share some quotes as of late, that have either made me laugh, or made me go, awww, that's so cute...
My dear son, who is two, has recently begun wearing underwear and is pretty stoked about it. When my dear 5 yr old daughter had a friend over, he ran up to her, sans pants, bent over in front of her, pointed at his little butt and said: Wook, M., I'm wearing chonies! M was not impressed, by the way.
When I went to go get my daughter from a time-out , she had surrounded herself, a la E.T. style, with every stuffed animal in her room and had such a pitiful look on her face.
I said to her: Why do you have all the animals by you?
She said: So I wouldn't be alone.
Yesterday when I was getting the kids out of the bath, dear son turned around and spontaneously hugged his sister and said: I wuv you, K.
So cute! On the other hand, is it bad if every time my dear hubby does something to annoy me I say, Ohhh, I am sooo blogging about this! ?
My dear son, who is two, has recently begun wearing underwear and is pretty stoked about it. When my dear 5 yr old daughter had a friend over, he ran up to her, sans pants, bent over in front of her, pointed at his little butt and said: Wook, M., I'm wearing chonies! M was not impressed, by the way.
When I went to go get my daughter from a time-out , she had surrounded herself, a la E.T. style, with every stuffed animal in her room and had such a pitiful look on her face.
I said to her: Why do you have all the animals by you?
She said: So I wouldn't be alone.
Yesterday when I was getting the kids out of the bath, dear son turned around and spontaneously hugged his sister and said: I wuv you, K.
So cute! On the other hand, is it bad if every time my dear hubby does something to annoy me I say, Ohhh, I am sooo blogging about this! ?
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Shhhh...don't wake the beast!
Ok, so, I have a beast that resides inside me. He (yes, he) has no patience, and can't stand defiance or the sound of kids screaming. He is asleep most of the time, but every once in a while he gets woken up and it is ugly. The last time he was woke up it went something like this:
Me: "Dear Daughter, it's time to get dressed because we are leaving soon."
Dear Daughter: (No response)
Me: "I am not going to tell you again, you need to by dressed by the time I come back in here, we need to go soon."
DD: (no response)
I then reenter the room after doing my own thing and see that Dear Daughter has not moved at all and is watching TV still in her jammies (insert Spanish curse words here).
"Snort! " Uh oh, the beast is awake and is not happy.
Beast (taking over, growling, eyes blazing) : "K.! I told you to get dressed, get your clothes on RIGHT NOW, YOU NEED TO START LISTENING TO ME!!" etc.
I hate when he wakes up. It's like demonic possession, once he's done I am spent. So what is my point? I think it's important to remember to take time to recharge your own batteries every once in a while. This is not new information, as we hear this all the time, but as a mom I think it is vital for both yourself and your kids. I have had the luxury of having two days sans kids and it has been wonderful for my mental well being. Whenever I would start to miss them, I just pictured them fighting and it worked like a charm! I feel refreshed and ready to handle things again. I realize not everyone can take breaks like that, but even a little here and there help! My New Years thought to all my mama friends out there is to remember to not put yourself last all the time. Now I just have to decide what time I should go get my kids...
Me: "Dear Daughter, it's time to get dressed because we are leaving soon."
Dear Daughter: (No response)
Me: "I am not going to tell you again, you need to by dressed by the time I come back in here, we need to go soon."
DD: (no response)
I then reenter the room after doing my own thing and see that Dear Daughter has not moved at all and is watching TV still in her jammies (insert Spanish curse words here).
"Snort! " Uh oh, the beast is awake and is not happy.
Beast (taking over, growling, eyes blazing) : "K.! I told you to get dressed, get your clothes on RIGHT NOW, YOU NEED TO START LISTENING TO ME!!" etc.
I hate when he wakes up. It's like demonic possession, once he's done I am spent. So what is my point? I think it's important to remember to take time to recharge your own batteries every once in a while. This is not new information, as we hear this all the time, but as a mom I think it is vital for both yourself and your kids. I have had the luxury of having two days sans kids and it has been wonderful for my mental well being. Whenever I would start to miss them, I just pictured them fighting and it worked like a charm! I feel refreshed and ready to handle things again. I realize not everyone can take breaks like that, but even a little here and there help! My New Years thought to all my mama friends out there is to remember to not put yourself last all the time. Now I just have to decide what time I should go get my kids...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)